Challenges of moving to your partner’s country

Episode Description

Living in New Zealand might be a dream of many, but Daniel wanted something different. When his wife’s grandparents got sick, Daniel gave up his successful business and stable career to go with his wife and son to Romania. There, a life-changing journey awaited him. 

Little did he know that moving abroad would challenge him in so many ways. From not learning the language to doing unfamiliar household chores, everything was new to Daniel. 

What made all of these harder was the feeling of being unwelcomed in the household he lived in. 

Daniel was persistent enough to keep all his burdens to himself and try his best to be more familiar with the country’s culture and language. 

Not long after moving to Romania, Daniel and his wife got divorced because of personal issues. Though painted with negative memories about Romania, Daniel got back up and encouraged himself to continue learning the language and indulge himself with the country’s values. 

His downfalls did not stop him from earning money and finding ways to provide a better life for his son. 

His story is something we could all learn from. Fail but get back up. Be hurt but never give up!

Get in touch with Daniel

Facebook - Instagram

Tips and key takeaways


Episode Transcript

Dan 0:02

Especially as a man, I personally feel it's different when a woman goes to a man's country I personally feel like I feel we're a lot better with that. as far as that power shift that we're a lot more sensitive, like I just feel feel I just haven't been haven't gotten a lot of sensitivity, haven't got a lot of understanding. And I feel that will be different reverse gender wise. I feel I personally feel from home from my experience.

Daniel De Biasi 0:28

Hi, everyone, and welcome to episode number 35 of the Emigrant's Life Podcast, where we share stories of people who left the country to chase a better life. And through these stories, I hope you can find ideas, resources and motivation to do the same. I'm Daniel De Biasi. And in this episode, I sit down with another Daniel. Dan is originally from New Zealand, they moved to Romania to be close to his wife's grandparents who were diagnosed with cancer. They sold their business and relocated with their little son to Romania. party after they moved, they got divorced. In this episode, Daniel, will talk about his relationship and what this change did to his marriage. moving to a new country can be challenging for our relationship, and Dan was very open about his personal life in his interview. I hope his experience could help some of you going through a similar situation. Before moving to my permission with then I just wanted to remind you that if English is your second language, you can find the transcript of our conversation in the show notes. Just visit And now please enjoy my conversation with Dan.

Hey, Dan, thanks for being on the show.

Dan 1:33

Hey, thank you for having me.

Daniel De Biasi 1:35

Awesome. So Dan, just a little bit of background about you. You are originally from New Zealand. And you recently over like a year ago in November 2019 roughly, you move to Romania. Do you want to tell us a little bit about you and why you decided to move to Romania?

Dan 1:53

Yeah, so basically, my wife and I were living in New Zealand and her grandparents had raised her. So they were really her parents in a lot of ways. So she communicated a lot with them. And we got the bad news that both of them have been diagnosed with cancer. So they're getting older. But this came as a real shock to being so fit and healthy all their lives. And so we made the decision to sell our business and move to Romania. We'd had a few holidays. We love the country. And her heart was really there. And so, yeah, we picked up everything. We just had a son recently. So he was probably one when we moved and then now I've been here for just over a year now. So yeah, good time to check in as well.

Daniel De Biasi 2:37

Okay, so your wife, I guess is Romanian then?

Dan 2:39

Yes, so she's Romanian. She was born in Romania. And then she moved to New Zealand when she was about 10, I think. And then so we met when she was 25 or so. So yes,she have been in New Zealand a long time.

Daniel De Biasi 2:52

So she was like 60% Kiwis and 40% Romanian.

Dan 2:57

Exactly. Exactly. It's a funny though, because she talks very Romanian like, she loves dancing. She loves food. So she's definitely not like a normal New Zealanders, you know, living there.

Daniel De Biasi 3:10

going back to the beginning. And you said that you in New Zealand, you had a business, and you have to sell the business to move to Romania. And so I guess making the decision to leave the country wasn't just a an easy decision. Because isn't just to quit a job and find a job in another country, you actually at a business, a business, you build yourself, and you have to sell the business to in order to move to another country.

Dan 3:31

Yes, we built quite a big business over five years financial advisors, so it was a million dollar business as far as valuation, but you never get a million dollars for it. But we got it nice payday when we sold it. And so that gave us the capital to not have to work. You know. So that's been wonderful. So I haven't really worked in a year. And having my son I've been able to be a full time father for him. So a lot of people because I've been into business and into sales and everything and self development. But a lot of people saw me as this corporate guy. And so having my son I really turned 180 and became this real full time father really like I really just want to be the fly son. So I was quite surprised by that. I don't know if I'd be maybe before going in I wouldn't have thought that would be the case for me. But now I'm just finding out how much I love being a father and yeah, like even this podcast, we were talking about doing this earlier and I was with him and he started crying and so I couldn't do the podcast. He wants to see mum.

So yeah, it's been really beautiful being a father and and then being able to be like it's made me feel like a millionaire because being able to be with him every day and not have to worry about money and working and just be able to look after him and take him to parks and just and then learn learn Romanian language and yeah, it's been wonderful, not having to worry about money. So that that's one advantage that we had, is knowing that we'd have money for probably well easily one year but even As much as two years without having to worry about it so that's been a very blessed situation to be in.

Daniel De Biasi 5:05

So what was your plan when you decided to leave New Zealand? Was it just a temporary solution just to stay closer to your grandparents and, and when the situation would get sorted in a way or the other, I will go back to New Zealand or was like a No, no, we're moving to Romania to live and stay in Romania for a longer time?

Dan 5:23

Yes, I was not liking a lot of things when New Zealand like politically, I was not liking a lot of things. In my life, like family wise, I didn't have a lot of closest with my family I felt. Yeah, I saw I saw Romania as as a close family, like very close family wise. And I saw a lot of positives to Romania, being in Europe being close to Italy, which I love Italy, and it's funny with you being Italian. So I've started to learn Italian as well. Yeah. And I noticed, I suppose with New Zealand, too, I do not like that. There's not a lot of history there where there's a lot of history was rendered, like I said, an archaeological site the other day, which is really amazing for me, and it just really gives me a buzz. Yeah, I just love the idea of being in Europe. And I suppose that kind of, maybe this is just me, but I have this idea of who I want to become. And part of that is like the sexy renaissance man. And so being in New Zealand just didn't really help me with that. So I'm like, I want to be more international. So that's, that's what I've headed towards, and I'm working well towards now. Like, I feel a lot more of that man now than I've ever been.

Daniel De Biasi 6:27

So your plans still stay like at least in Europe?

Dan 6:30

Absolutely. Yes. So I do not see myself going back to my country, except for as a tourist now. Yeah, there's no draw there for me to go back. Although I'm handcuffed with my wife, because we've parted ways. But we can talk about that as well more. So we, we broke up just before Christmas. So what coming up a month ago or so. So pretty recent. But she at first, she was saying she wanted to go back to New Zealand. So I just said okay, because I'll have to follow her because my son needs her more than me right now. So I'll follow her wherever she goes, basically, as far as I'm handcuffed to her, because of my son. In that sense, I'll move where I'll move back to New Zealand. But if I have a say in it, I'd not like to go back. So luckily, she changed her mind. And we've ended up staying now. But I suppose life is like that, you know, you don't have choices. But if I have the choice, I want to stay in Romania. And then also I'm planning on settling in Italy as well. So I'm going to I'm going to be based between Italy, and Romania. That's my plan.

Daniel De Biasi 7:32

One of the things that come up even in another interview I did with another guest was that because this person married a foreign person. She always thought that maybe this person at some point would want to move back to the country. So I guess when you are in relationship with with somebody that's from a different country, there's always that option that this person might want to come back to your country. Was it the same situation for you. We kind of knew that maybe in soccer, some boy moved back to Romania, or there was just a surprise for you?

Dan 8:04

Yeah, great questions, man. And this can be like a free counseling session for me. Hopefully not. Yeah, so I suppose we did a few holidays. Firstly, and and yeah, and I love the country. And I was really impressed with how her family was so like, warm, like, even the guys kissed me on the cheek and everything. And that might sound a bit weird to some guys. But it's there's nothing like, you know, sexual or whatever. But it's just this loving light, you get hugged, you get kissed you get everyone's dancing, it was just such a shock for me, because being more of an English heritage, I'm not used to that. And they talk about being in the heart, and so on. I really fell in love with that. And, and I was just shocked with how beautiful the people were. And so yeah, that's been a real draw. And then with my wife. Yeah, so we talked about it. It's funny because because we got married in Romania. And then two days after we married she decided to break it off with me, which came as a real shock obviously, after being married for two days. And I went into a bit of a dark spiral like I drank whiskey the room and ended up drinking like half the bottle something in there was a bit a bit of a bad day. And, and we finally got to the bottom of why she wanted to break up with us because she really missed Romania and love the country and wanted to be there and then I and saucy to us. It's funny you say that. Like we'd already broken up and I was like, you know, it is what it is. But I said, I could see myself being here, funny enough, but I didn't know how. And when we went back to New Zealand, things went really well in our business. And so I kind of forgot, like we kind of moved on from it. But it was always there but but not constantly as it should be. And this is something I'd advise, I wish I had spent more time learning the language because that It's been a real challenge to this day. And any I've never regretted getting better at it. So, yeah, so then when we did make the decision, maybe it wasn't the most thought out decision, but we felt like it was right. And, and with her parents, grandparents not being well, they're who grandmas, especially like a mother to her. And so I kind of did some quick calculations in my head that if I refuse to go, I would lose my wife, because, say her grandma died, there would always be this resentment, that I'd stopped her seeing her grandma before she died. So I knew that it would kill our relationship. And so I suppose the love of my wife the love for my son. I just, I just said, oh, I've got it, I've got to make this move. And, and, yeah, I realized that I had to make the move. And it also worked well with me and where I wanted to go in life, like it was good timing. So yeah, but then, but then maybe this is just maybe the wrong perception for now. But my wife would see me like very strong and very, just a winner and a lot of ways. So ever since we've made, I've just been doing really well in life. So for example, I'm just dominant, and I was one of the best guys in the company too and then, and then I sold insurance. And I was like the best, one of the best guys in the company, I've probably the best guy in the company for a bit. And then I became the best manager in the company. And then we started the business, then that went really well. And this is, so she's seen me in so many situations where I was this invaluable, like man of strength, but then coming to Romania. And I knew this would happen. It was like I was on the backfoot straightaway and not knowing the language was a instant disadvantage. And so even would be speaking Romanian around me. And I and I would know nothing of what they were saying. And I was constantly asking, Hey, what are what are you saying what's going on? And I did not know Basically, any words, like now now being here a year, I can pick up a lot. This definitely made me I suppose feel very weak, and then feel like an outsider to because being part of the tribe, so being part of her family that starts speaking fluent Romanian to me. And then I'd say I'd say no interleague, which is like, don't understand, and then they go, Oh, that's right. You're a foreigner. And then I'd see the energy change, like, you're not part of the group, you're this- you are, but you're not. And this kind of out feeling of being an outsider. And this just started a bit of a ball rolling. And then it's just interesting how we have now. Like, basically, my wife left me which came as a shock too because yeah, I don't know. You could go like, like, we've grown apart as well. There's a lot of different elements to this, but one element has definitely been the see this weakness of me.

Yeah, like it being a weaker man, I suppose. You know, a lot of women say might say, that's not the case. But maybe I've lost some sort of attractiveness, I suppose if I'm, if I'm going to be fully honest. And it's been tough for me, because I hear this a lot that people who are very strong, have not put themselves in a situation to be very weak. And so they can't they cannot even relate to that. I don't know if you've heard this Daniel, like, you know, people who have always been in a strong position, ghey can't relate to being an underdog or whatever. You know?

Daniel De Biasi 13:32

I never heard that before. But I guess can the same principle can be applied in any situation.

Like being like a white guy in the country don't know how the black person can feel in America have no idea how they feel in America, for example, that could be a same situation. And for you, exactly you don't know how an immigrant can feel in a foreign country where, when you've never been an immigrant in the country.

Dan 13:57

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. So it's been it's been a really humbling experience for me. And yeah, there's definitely made me see what it would be like to be an immigrant because coming from New Zealand is a lot of immigrants there. Yeah. And, and I had no idea how challenging it was. Like, I remember before I lived, I met a woman from where she from somewhere in the Middle East. And she was saying how she left the country while I was in war, as a refugee, and it's just hard to believe it's just hard to imagine that, you know, bombs dropped on you and just some of the stories she had just horrific. And so, not that I can relate to that, thank God. But I've definitely had a tough year like for example, her family's very poor. So we moved in with her grandparents. And because she was her grandma's health start to go down as we moved in with her grandparents. And then her grandma passed away not long after, so we moved in about three days. And then I just hear the screaming in the other room, and a grandma has passed like she had like a fever and then before We know that she died died, and I just thought she'd pull out of it. And yeah, we all thought she pulled out of it. And so we we then like then there was the changes of all the house but grandparents are very poor and and well had a really tough life. And they have chickens and they have to move water to save money and all this. So I found myself at this, like, coming from this, like wealthy position and the West to this literally pumping water for two hours a day. And then moving water to the garden. And then like cleaning up after chickens, and then just the smells and just and not and they don't even have a shower. So I was only able to have a shower, like once a week, which is new for me. I'm used to showering like every day. And so, man, it was humbling brother like it was humbling, and almost like, I don't know, like verging on a bit too much in a lot of ways. Because I mean, I so and I suppose to before I, before I arrived, I had this thought like, you know, pull yourself up by the brute brute bootstraps. I'm still probably more right, I still am more right wing politically, I see myself as a libertarian. And I love that I love business, I love entrepreneurship and everything. But I probably had a, an, you know, naive view of that, like, anyone can do it. But I realized, like holy cow, like if I'm pumping water for two hours of the day. And if I'm this exhausted just to live, like I found, I would just wake up and just to get food ready. And to do that when I did the dishes, I had to, I had to turn the gas on and then heat the water with with gas and then move it and it was just everything was hard. And everything was was broken, basically, as far as like systems, like nothing worked easily. And I'm just like, holy, because by the end of the day, I was so exhausted just after living. And I'm thinking how could I build a business like this? How could I do anything commercially? And so that's been very humbling to me to see that. I don't even I suppose I don't even think about it again. Because now I've kind of pulled the plane up, and I'm out of that situation. And I'm now in this beautiful apartment now and and I live such a blessed life again. It's like, some people live just this horror story life like that, where you're just lucky if you even make it through the day. And I know, it's really tough, tough for me to even to experience that and to see that and like, like, like the level of poverty that I see. Because I keep hearing from people I hear there's worse Dan and I'm like, Whoa, I don't even want to hear about worse, like, don't even tell, you know, when I see people every, every time basically I go to take my rubbish to the bends. There's people waiting there, you know, and they'll take the bag off be and it's like, oh my god, I you know, so I'd hadn't seen any poverty like that, before leaving New Zealand. And on holiday, I started to see it. And yeah, to experience that has been very, very humbling for me. And it's been good for me. And it's actually funny enough driven me to make more money to be more successful, because I want to not only provide for myself and my son and have, and I'm looking after my wife, ex wife now as well. But I want to look like provide food for more people than that. Like I was even thinking about that tonight, like I gave the taxi driver a small tip. Like, I don't know what it'd be, I suppose I need to change like 20 different currencies right now. But basically, so I gave him one euro, and he's like, thank you so much, sir.

You're such a lovely guy. I'm like woah and I'm like, still to myself, I'd love that to be 100 or 1000 you know. Just really, like, make a difference to the guy. Yeah, so that's, that's really given me a drive to do better. And I've kind of been lucky, you might go through such an experience. I've been like licking my wounds and then building myself back up. And now I'm just more driven than ever to do well, commercially, because after seeing how bad and this is a funny thing I hear from a lot of my friends who are doing well in different ways that you know, money doesn't equal happiness and money isn't everything. It's like, Go tell that to someone who's going through bad, you know, it's just so naive, so stupid. Because because, yes, obviously I've had a lot of money and it hasn't made me happy. Of course, I mean, it we'll talk about two different things. It's like money money is one thing sure, and to do with, like 99% of what we have in life, but then yes, it doesn't give us the total happiness. But then but then what does? You know?

Daniel De Biasi 19:36

Moeny is just a tool.

Dan 19:37


Daniel De Biasi 19:38

It's like a gun. You can use a gun to kill an animal and have data or you can use the same gun to kill yourself. That's it. It's a tool. It's it's how it's what do you do with a tool that makes a difference. It's the same as money. Of course money can like a make you like not happier when they buy you the comfort for to have less problem and have more room for you to have more happiness. But the same time there's like so many millionaires that are miserable. And there's people in Africa or people in the poor country with no money at all. They're like living super happy. Money don't automatically make you happy. Just give you get rid of a lot of problems that society creates.

Dan 20:15

Yeah, absolutely many different problems. You know, like, like, if I think if I rich friends, before I got this, this group of friends that I ended up getting into like the club or whatever you call it, you know, like becoming part of whatever. And some of these guys had some crazy cars, crazy homes. And so my perception maybe was naive when I first meet them like, Oh, well, everything's good in their life. Maybe hopefully, it wasn't that dumb. But then the closer I got to them, just the challenges that they're going through, like, from having a fears or from like, excessive alcoholism, like one of my friends, he had a liver problem. And then he went to the doctor. And they seem to let your livers just in a real state, like, what's wrong? He's like, I'm rich. And then they're like, Okay, he's like, No, seriously, guys. I'm very wealthy. I drink like a bottle of whiskey a night. And so like, How ironic is that? Right? He seemed to that with this with this drinking problem, because he can afford to drink such beautiful whiskey. sadhana, it's, it's nice. It's such a thing I say, for my friends who have never had any money is to go, Well, you know, that guy's got it all. You know, like, this is why I don't feel jealousy, Daniel, because if I see anyone with something, and like, say, I want to say I want to be you right now like, okay, I don't want to be I'm going through a divorce. I'm going through challenges. I want to be Daniel. But then you've got challenges that I don't know about yet. That could be a nightmare for me. Do you know what I mean? Or like, say Johnny Depp, we look at Johnny then how handsome he is, or whatever. And I go, I want to be Johnny Depp. And then look at the garbage he's been going through and like, who knows what a what a disaster his life could be. Once you get under the under the hood of it, you know?

Daniel De Biasi 21:53

Yeah, you never know what the other person is going through. Because nobody cares about their own like a bad things that go on in life. You never know. Everybody's got challenges. Everybody's got different challenges.

Dan 22:04

Absolutely, man. And, and this is the great thing with this podcast, too, is I'm so glad I I leaned into the challenges like, even though it's been such a tough year, one of the toughest in my life. And I knew it would be, it's been the most beautiful year because it's really, and maybe a lot of people can relate to that with this COVID it's really showing us what's important, it's really showing us a lot of things. And man, it's been beautiful. Like I think any challenge like I was thinking about this with a gym because I'd be going I was being sucked into the gym, and I just cannot get enough of it. I just love the gym man. And it's it's lost my train of thought with it.

Daniel De Biasi 22:46

I want to just add a little bit about a gym because I've been going to the gym a lot as well lately mainly it's not to just look better in front of the mirror, but mostly like the mental health because going through like a these things in life and exercise has been proved in many studies that exercise helps you mentally, it gives you like a get rid of anxiety or depression, all that kind of thing. So people that are going to the gym, and for me the reason for going to the gym is just to be mentally healthier and going through like this hard time that we're all going through. So probably because you you got you went through like a lot in a year he moved to a new country, you have to learn a new language, you didn't speak any language, you have a culture shock, you lived a life completely different from what you have lived in New Zealand, even just going through living our "a normal life" to living like in 1800, from what you told me, it is such a big shock and not even mentioned that you went through a breakup and everything. It just it's a lot that a person can go through in just a year.

Dan 23:49

Yeah, man. Absolutely. And I think I suppose the way I look at challenge has really helped me and and one thing i've you know, like there's a saying like your your What is it like the universe or God will give you what you need, not what you want. And so I kind of try and lean into that. And so I think it's been it's been like just what looking back as it's been just what I've needed. But but but but I thought recently, I've never regretted a day I've gone to the gym, but there's some things I've regretted, like that big night where I've drank too much. And the next day, I'm like, oh man, what was I thinking? But I've never looked back and got I wish I hadn't spent two hours at the gym that day. You know, and, and now I probably become a bit of a douchebag where I just love like rip my top off now and posing in the mirror and all this and it's like I've become that guy.

Oh man. I've become that guy that like I hated not long ago like I remember seeing guys doing this. Like, I was like, why wouldn't you just play a call and just, you know, when you get your top off at the beach, you know, sure people appreciate them but why you know put it on Instagram or why do that? And it's like I had no idea you know when you work so hard for your body. I've always been very skinny. And so now I've got a little bit more muscle. And I'm so proud of myself. And it's been such a miracle to me, man. And I'm loving how I'm starting to look. And then I suppose now being single to like, some women are finding it attractive. Yeah. And so I've become this like real douchebag where I want to show it off, I suppose. But yeah, but yeah, man. The other thing I wanted to say was, yeah, so with my wife, too, she just, I felt like she took I don't know if anyone else can relate to this. But I don't know, I want to be respectful of her too, because she would have a different view of everything. But when I arrived, she turned on me in a lot of ways. Because one idea was, even though I wasn't going to work for a year, I still thought commercially, like, Okay, what, what can I do, and one thing I wanted to do was, I've always been passionate about video and photo. And so I started to get into video and photo heavily. And that took a lot of like, self learning, like YouTube videos, and I didn't have a lot of gear. So I was learning, you know, about different things like lenses. And so I started to get really into that. And, and it took a lot of time with editing. And so essentially, to talk about now, because my wife said, getting really negative towards it, because her family couldn't understand why I was spending so much time on the computer. So being like you said, in the 1800s, they, they see value and say farming or doing the garden or whatever. So they had this like, like, dainty guy, you know, not a farming type of guy, always on his computer. And so they just saw it as me just wasting my life and wasting my time. And my wife got really sucked into that view, too. So one one way she was supportive, like, hey, she knew that I was doing video, and she loved my videos. She's like, You're talented. And everyone loved them when I do them of our family or our wedding, whatever, you know, they're no problem with that. They're no problem, like enjoying it when I finished it. But then through that the turmoil I went, whereas like, Oh, he's a loser just on his on his computer, almost as if they viewed it, like I was like gaming on it or something. And so like, wait, I cannot say that every moment I spend productive, like, I've watched YouTube videos that were productive, let's say or whatever. But I was pretty ruthless about making sure I was upskilling. And so I got pretty good at video and photo. But there's there was constantly this disconnect where she viewed it as this waste of time. And so anyway, so that started to create a bit of negativity. And then I remember I dislocated my shoulder at the gym. So I was just an agony man like this is early on. When I arrived and so the grandma started getting really negative towards me like, Oh, this guy's a loser. He's on his computer all days a shit father, and then I just decayed my shoulders and now I was like this loser on a computer. And I was weak as anything with a dislocated shoulder. And then her her granddad's like the stoic, like never had a day off in his life farmer type of guy who just doesn't even talk. So she started to go, Oh, I like guys like that. Or I want a man like that. And I'm like, Okay, so that's gonna be hard for me to become that guy. Like, I'm this, like, I've, I've built myself on communication, I built myself on I don't know, like, I'm an office boy through and through. Even though funnily enough, I used to be in the trades. And so even when I came back from the gym, she said to me, oh, did you dislocate your shoulder so that, I'd be nice to you? Like that so that's how, how she was even conscious of being pretty nasty to me. And then and then say, like about the language too. There was never any sensitivity around that. Like, basically, it was soon as and this is just my perception. But as soon as we landed, it was like, you should be speaking fluent Romanian basically. Like why why can you not speak fluent reading? In fact, they had that they all had this idea, like, Okay, what we're gonna do is we're just going to speak to you, and fluent Romania, we're going to cut any English now. And then you just told us like, swim, you know. And that was pretty horrifying for me because I, because I noticed too, that I would kind of clam up like, if you can relate to this, Daniel, anyone else, but my brain would just turn off, like, so that'd be like, Jim, I just did a ceremony or whatever they say all this Romanian and my brain would just go dunk and is to just hear nothing. And it actually took me I reckon about six months, to actually be calm enough to even be able to listen to it. Not that I understood even but that I could just listen to it. I don't know. Can you relate to that Daniel? Were you just-

Daniel De Biasi 29:28

Totally. I mean, we were talking this before the interview I told you like it took me probably more than six months just to understand my first conversation in English. You don't have the vocabulary to understand the words so for you to sound just like just a sound. When I speak Italian with somebody English speaker is in the room for them. They all can hear this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, or maybe boppity boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo boo. It's just it's not Italian. It's just a just a sound for them. So I can totally relate with that. And also, one thing I like To ask you because at least from my perspective, you're moving with your wife, which is Romanian to Romania, maybe you will kind of like rely on her like, okay, we are team of without don't speak the language, I can rely on her. She can be my translator, she can introduce me to a new culture, she could help me to move around into the new country, the new culture, was that part of your kind of like a maybe plan, even like, if it wasn't maybe our plan, it was just the idea, maybe I don't have to worry too much about it because I got here?

Dan 30:30

I don't know, maybe there'll be some of that. I mean, we've been a really good team for a long time, I've built the business and everything. And obviously got married at its childhood, this would have been a good team. But then I've always been really strong too. So I've limped along, too. So I've been pretty, you know, for example, pretty quick, I would just go to shops on my own and just limp along. And I would just like I learned pretty quickly how to say I wasn't Romanian. So I could say, Hey, I'm not Romanian. Sorry. Like, sorry, I and also I learned sorry, really quick to service. I'd say sorry, and be really respectful. And so I was smart to quickly learn how to say I went into a shop, I'd say berners Lee, which is Hello. And then I'd say if there's an old person, I say Seriously, this is the tricky thing, because there's so many different things if it's older, younger than that, but I'd say serum on if it's an older person. And then I'd say

scuzati-ma, like, excuse me? Nu sunt, Roman, so I'm not a Romanian. Soon to know Zealand, because they'd want to know, and then I'd say,

intelegi engleza? So do you understand English? I'd basically be like and just by intro to asking if they are explaining. Like, why didn't speak the language? And then do they speak English? And then luckily, most people would say, Yes, I speak English, or someone in the say, the shop or wherever I was, would speak English then that helped me. So I'd be pretty, pretty strong about that. So I never really, you know, so I wouldn't go to a shop because of my wife was around, I'll just, I'll just punch through. So I've been pretty smart about that. And then using the Google Translate, and then and then her family had, she had a cousin who has been it's been really helpful for me as well. But he obviously there's that though, like, like with many things, she's had to, like, say, sorting our flat and everything, but she's always been better at kind of handling money and organizing things. So that wasn't really much of a change for me. Like she's always been good at organizing that sort of stuff. Like my skills, not really in that, like my skills always been in, say communication, but that I knew that was going to be handcuffed moving to Romania, because obviously not speaking the language. So I knew that would be handcuffed. Yeah, and so and so I suppose I I double down on fathering my son. Yeah, it's been an interesting year, man. Like, I haven't told many people about this. And, but funnily enough, I had the same day she broke up with me, I realized that I was seeing myself as a victim with things. And I just don't like that. I'd rather be a victim or that a victim. And I kind of feel that like God of the universe. If you if you see yourself as a victim, then it will just a God will just go Okay, you want to be a victim, and God will really make you a victim, you know, or if you see yourself as a victim, you'll really see yourself as a victim, you know, and I love this quote from Jesus like, "I am that that I am." And there's some breakdowns I've heard of this, where Jesus is talking about how what we say, especially I am you becomes the say, you say I am an idiot enough, and you really feel it, it will permeate through your bones where you really become that idiot.

Daniel De Biasi 33:39

So stop believing it.

Dan 33:41

Exactly brother so having these thoughts like I'm I'd rather have I personally would rather have a feeling of a victor right or a victor not of others, not dominating others, but a vector of myself, right? And victor of my own challenges or whatever. And so, I realized that that day, I'm like, okay, man, you need to let go of this victim thing. And then bang, my wife was like, Hey, I think we should be I think we should break up and just be just be friends sort of thing. And so I was like, friendzoned by my wife, so I'm okay. So I was like, Okay, Dan this is a good this is a good situation now to not become a victim. So I started to get myself set up, I started straightaway. And here's another thing. I started straightaway talk to a lot of women so luckily with my photo and video, I was talking to a lot of models and this beautiful woman and and they seem to get along well with me. So I started talking to them straightaway. And then anyway, after a week or so my wife wanted me back. Maybe it had to do with talking to these women as well. And then a week about a couple of weeks after that, she broke up with me again, and I briefly talked about this with you before the before we press record, but she at that stage, she got a bit dark and she didn't want me seeing my son for a bit. So I luckily had seen a lot of luckily seen a lot of friends go through this. And so I seen them fight their partners. And whereas this time, what I did what I advise them and I said, Okay, if you don't want me to see my son, absolutely fine, because oh actually worth mentioning so what happened was my son was like one, and he was starting to walk and start to get into it everything is really full on. And the grandpa has this, it's called a bitch. And it's an underground cellar. And whatever reason he has it open, or it's for condensation, whatever, but he has, he has an open. And so now we've literally got it's a little step that you've got to walk over and then you go into this house. And then you've got a three meter deep hole with a steel ladder. So this hole is there, which which is a massive risk. And so I tried tried to bring it up a few times. And they said, Hey, we're gonna close the door to that to that house in the day. And I said, Okay, well, that's a solution, whatever, I still wasn't 100% happy. Anyway, so one day, I went outside, and it was like 11 in the morning, and the whole the doors open and the holes open. And so my son could just walk in, and he started to run outside. And he started to come outside of it. And I'm thinking, oh my god, and so I close the cover to the hole. And then I walk away and my son walked in front of the Grandpa, and he walked into that room and stood on top of the hole. And my brain just went, if I wasn't here, he would have just walked in front of the grandpa the Grandpa wouldn't have got to one time and even if even if I was here, I couldn't have got to him in that time, too. And so I just felt this panic of like that I lost my son. And I had this visual of him, like his lifeless body and the bottom of this hole. And yeah, and I don't know, and I just couldn't get over it. So I went to the Grandpa, and I went, hey, this like no more to this hole, you know, like, we're closing this hole, I don't care. And then rather than him being like, Hey, I understand or whatever. He was just like, No, no, no. And so he was like, I don't care, basically, the whole staying open, like it's not happening. And so I'm thinking like, I've given up everything, my family, my friends, my life, I know, my business. And I want I only want one thing, which is you to close this hole, which I'll pay for like because, because I was like, I don't care. I just don't want my son to go to die, you know, on this property. And so that was my thinking. So I got pretty intense about it to a point where I was like yelling at him and, and then I started calling him an idiot, which is obviously not a smart move. And then I kept saying mort which was die, like my son's gonna die. And I got pretty hysterical, like I like I wasn't like crying or whatever. But I was real angry about it. And I was, I was still like coherent. But I was pretty emotional, you know? And then and then maybe ramped up to because then rather than my wife supporting me, and being like, hey, look, Dan's a bit intense about this but he's right. You know, we want to keep our son alive. Let's hold dodgy. Its massive hole for our son. You know, we had struggled falling in it. It's a three and a half meter deep hole. You know, let's close it. All it sorts. I think she just turned on me 180. And she was like, you're piece of whatever. You never speak to an older person like that. Like that's disrespectful. It calling them idiots like unforgiveable. Like basically you did to me. So that's why we broke up. And, and yeah, so ironically, now I couldn't so I've got like, pushed out of the whole house as well through this. And so her, so now I'm like not even able to protect myself from this hole anyway, you know? And then the rest of the family went out because I live with the Auntie for a little bit at her house. And they were like, you are just too intense, you just can't say that. I'm like, Okay, cool. Like, I honestly don't care about me. I don't care if I break out with my wife. I don't honestly care about me. But can we sort this hole? And she's like, Oh, look, it's been open forever. Like, and then she even is quite a big woman. And she fell over in the kitchen in front of me and fell hard. And sounds like Well, hold on. You fell over just in front of me the other day? What if you fell in that hole and broke your neck? You know who's to blame? And then they were like, Oh, this is Romania. Like we all have holes. And so this sort of stuff rather like oh no, my wife kind of came around like we got back together after she's calling like yeah, I can see where you're coming from kind of, but she's like, No, no, I still think you're disrespectful and you should have dealt with a bit of which is true like I should have dealt with it better like say, I don't mean to be disrespectful to the grandpa maybe that's a lesson there as well as like the big one respect so she literally like that was like game day there could have been a game over just there funnily enough, but yeah, man that was that was obviously a low point. And and it's never really been the Same like, because that respecting you, you may be have that with Italy. Like, we don't have that in the waste slide. There's no sacred cow. And I think I actually like that about the waste funding law this Dignitas to that. But I like that as far as like, I respect the grandfather. But I do not respect him being reckless with people's lives. And I don't respect to start respect that sort of stubborn ignorance, that I respect other things about him. But when it comes to that, I don't respect it. So I did kind of overtly challenging with that, you know, like, like, like, say, for example, if I see a tradesman, and he does a bad job, and like the buildings gonna fall on someone, and say, to be respectful, I've got an upset report, and I just don't care about that I'd rather be disrespectful, and save people's lives than be respectful and lit, like a crime continue, you know, and this is where if my wife had any logic to it, but she's got this like, hyper emotional, you cross the line, like disrespectful thing, I suppose different cult, maybe it's different. Maybe it is different culture thing as far as like, I just don't have that I suppose, coming from the west, like, we don't have a sacred cow like that. Like I've had arguments with my father I've had arguments with. And I have a reverence and love and respect for my father. But we've had some pretty intense talks that maybe you wouldn't have, if you were going by that, you know, you can't question anything, or you can't look at anything under a microscope. But I'm not I still really value that personally.

Daniel De Biasi 41:32

Well, I'd like to ask your question and feel free to if you don't want to respond or whatever, we can skip over. But I like to ask you the question, do you think and this is just like a, your side of the story. But do you think you will be with your wife if you didn't leave New Zealand?

Dan 41:47

Yeah, may I don't know, it's so hard to answer that day, because there's so many variables now. Maybe? I don't know. Maybe not even I don't know, I think she's changed a lot. I saw that I see this now. She's changed a lot as well. Yeah. And I think also, like, we're, we're creating different things now. So it is meant to be like, if she was meant to be with me, or allows me to be with her, then whatever challenges you'll get through that we've got through a lot more challenges. So for us to part ways is a different thing. But I think it's worth mentioning, with with the context of this podcast is that it changes the dynamics, and to be aware of different things. Like if you're going to go sell, I've got a friend who's American, and he's got a friend who's a Chinese, and he's going to go to China, just to be aware that, hey, you're gonna be on the backfoot. This could be this could be quite tough for you, you know what I mean, especially as a man, it might be I personally feel it's different. When a woman goes to a man's country, I personally feel like I feel we're a lot better with that. As far as that power shift, that we're a lot more sensitive, like I just feel I just haven't been haven't gotten a lot of sensitivity, haven't got a lot of understanding. And I feel that will be different reverse gender wise, I feel I personally feel from home from my experience.

Daniel De Biasi 43:03

Okay, no, that's interesting. For me, I think it's more like a personal level, I think it's not like a male or female point of view is more like if you are a person that wants to help, you are willing to up to the person for example, I moved to my country I have a partner, and we moved to Italy, I don't know for me automatically. I know I need to be there for her. And it'll be more helpful because I know the situation maybe because I'm be in a situation or what means to be a foreign another country. I don't know anything about the country and the basic stuff. Even just go into supermarket, you don't know which one is the best supermarket where you find the best product and cheapest and old even like, all this small part of the normal life can be challenging when you are when you're an immigrant. So for me, I know the situation, I'm there to help my partner, but for some other people feel like they have, I don't know, the obligation that you have to do it and they put pressure on the person that the person has to do has to be there and and they're less willing to they find less, not maybe not attractive, but less normal, that you have to provide wait for that person at least on the first the first few months or a year for for them.

Dan 44:18

Yeah, man. I mean learning. I've been listening to Dan, I don't know if you've seen this guy. What's this? No, Matt versus Japan. And he, he speaks Japanese really well. And Japanese is like one of the hardest languages to come from English to. And he talks about how, you know, you could be 10 years and I didn't realize but you could be 10 years at the country and not speak the language still. And I was surprised by that. Because I thought you just pick it up a beat being in the country,

Daniel De Biasi 44:45

And how much willing you are to learn the language. There's people here in Canada that's been here or even in New Zealand I met people that have been there for 20 years is still like their English was pretty basic. Depends how willing you are to to learn the language to integrate with the culture.

Dan 45:00

Yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah. But this came as a shock to be ironed out. Yeah. But um, yeah, just just the challenges of that, though, obviously going to add challenges to relationship too. And then. Yeah, I don't know. I just think, I suppose, after hearing about how hard it is, like, what Matt was saying how hard it is, I had a lot more sensitivity to myself, because maybe this is where my wife comes from, like, we just like, toughen up and just like the tough pill, but seeing what a massive challenge it is, and having some sensitivity around that, and some understanding, like, hey, it's gonna take some time, like, how unreasonable for her to think, you know, after a couple of months, I was gonna be fluent, like, come on, you know, looking back now that was very, very, like, That's incorrect. Like, you're not going to, like, imagine if I went to Korea, and expected myself to be fluent in two, but like, I joke with her about that. But well, hold on, if I was from Korea, and you came to my country, Do you honestly think you'd be fluent in two months? But this is the problem Daniel you're because she speaks Italian, French, Romanian and English, right? Because at school, she learned all those. And so for her, it's like very normal to speak another language. So she hasn't, she hasn't experienced that. Like, say she'd been to Korea, and she'd experienced how tough that is. She have some sympathy. But at least you have like, Yeah, she just doesn't seem to be able to see it. So and her family too like the family would have ruthless with me about it. They're like, Nah, you should speak fluent Romanian. Come on, and just everyday. And it was also just the general put downs about it, too, was like, Oh, your Romanians, garbage you, you're terrible, everybody. And that, and this doesn't work well, for me. Like I'm quite a positive guy. Some like, hold on. I spent, you know, three hours today, learning all but also it makes me It wouldn't really inspire me to do much more too. Like, I was like, exactly. They'll just disavow me to a point where I was like, oh, who cares? I won't even listen to any Romanian then like unconsciously, you know. And so it didn't actually help me like so. But maybe that was their way of them trying to help me in the way of sparking me up, maybe works for them. But it just putting me down like that didn't didn't really work? Well. Yeah. And I suppose it's made it harder for me to like love the country and love the culture when my wife's been like that with me. It's kind of has actually, maybe I needed I need to do it Matt first, Japan talked about this to how he kind of fell out of love with Japan at times. And it was really hard to learn the language. So yeah, I'm trying to like build up some positive experiences again. And luckily, I've started off, I had a couple of weeks or a month or whatever, where I haven't really talked to many women. But now I've started talking to a lot of a lot of women. And it's been wonderful man, like, I'm loving the experience of being single and talking to women. And I probably moved a bit too fast for that, like I made myself like often approach women straightaway, like in the first week, even when I'm like basically, like crying while I'm working out sort of stage. So that was probably a bit stupid. But now that I'm talking to women, like Mother Nature will not only kill us, like if we go in the cold and we're not dressed correctly, we'll die. But Mother Nature will also like, take us in and heal us. So now I've got women coming into my life now who are like seeing the value, and and big time seeing the value and excited to meet me and excited to spend time with me. So that's been beautiful man that's like, and that's helping me be more positive towards the country now and be more positive towards the whole of Europe. So I'm planning on doing some trips around Europe and yeah, and falling back in love with the country back love the culture, like a bit of pretty tough experience. And so now creating some beautiful, more like loving experiences is going to be really nice. I'm really excited about it. And I've started to learn the like with cooking and, and, and all that. So it's been it's been wonderful man. But this single phase now, I'll tell you, it's just a really wonderful experience.

Daniel De Biasi 48:59

I'd like to ask you a last question about this topic. And then maybe we can switch to maybe like a more related topic. The question I'd like to ask you is knowing what you know now about your relationship with your wife and the situation you guys went through, if you have like a time machine and be able to go back in time to before you left New Zealand, is there anything you would have done differently or the conversation you would have maybe done to your wife before moving to Romania?

Dan 49:28

No, man. I'm really happy with what's happened and I wouldn't change I wouldn't change anything. I mean, I said yeah, I'm loving like because I'm loving who I've become. I'm loving like my values that I've stuck true to and I'm loving. Yeah, I love I love now like speaking Romanian as much as I do like, like, oh man, I'm just loving. I we should have maybe talked about the positives. Well, I suppose good to talk about the negatives, but maybe it'd be cool to even do another talk of like all the positives, because man pawsitive, bro, unbelievable like, being being like I say that renaissance man, like, I've got this vision of who I want to be. And funnily enough, I'm creating, like, I found a way to make a lot of money here. And maybe some will be interested in this. So what I do is I book appointments for advisors in New Zealand. So like, you make a lot of money as a financial advisor in New Zealand, but you could be the best in the world. But if you're not seeing clients, you make nothing. So the hardest thing is getting clients. So I was always very good at this. So what I do now is I call businesses or people and I say, Hey, would you want an appointment with a financial advisor, essentially? And then say, if they say yes, like, say one in ten says yes, or whatever, then this advisor goes to see the client. And then I get paid a big commission from that, because they have to give me a big, big cut because they wouldn't have had it without me, right? So say they make 10,000 New Zealand, if they give me say 2000, it's nothing because they end up having eight when they would have had nothing. So anyway, it's a good opportunity too and if anyone wants to reach out to me, so yes, I've started doing that. So there's going to be good money coming in. So I'm planning on buying an old Porsche because I think there's 60 I love Porsches, I love German cars. And then I'm planning on just traveling around Europe and there's like 60 Porsche, and and then having a lot of money too and then be able to work wherever I want. And I'm sorry, but maybe that's not the dream for a lot of women and men, but for me, and this is I suppose what's cool about being single to creating what you want. For me, this is like living the dream for me. You know, like being an international businessman traveling around having a sexy car having a like, I've got a really nice apartment I'm renting because it's so it's so cheap to rent. So I'm renting this like really beautiful apartment I mean there's levels to everything but it's not going to spire anything but everything but a spa and few other things. It's It's It's pretty pretty, pretty amazing. But this is what what it is man like you know about it coming from Italy. Everyone I meet Daniel was like, why are you here? Like they're like, why would you be here though? And I'm like, What do you mean?

Daniel De Biasi 52:08

Because so many people from Romania they want to leave they go to Italy or the part of Europe or it's just-

Dan 52:13

Like, no one does this trip. Like everyone goes out. No one comes in basically. Like, honestly, like, I've never met another foreigner. Or there's a few Indian guys here who worked contractors and things. But I've basically never made another foreigner since I've been here. Everyone asked me why they're in like a worm and they all call it a tow. And I'm like, Wow, so that's been quite, that's been quite interesting. I don't see it like that. I see it. I see a lot of beauty here. But obviously challenges too. But yeah.

Daniel De Biasi 52:45

But because you've got opportunities where people don't don't see it. And also people that are born in the same country. They just see the different there's like for me, Italy, I will never live in Italy and you love it. It is different. When you are born in the country. You have to deal with the situation for long enough and you you got fed up.

Dan 53:03

Yeah, but I'm a different guy as well. Because I will admit, man, I'm not like I'm not earning and local currency as well. So that's worth mentioning. I tried to start a video business, but man, I got just smashed commercially here. It's pretty humbling like trying to start a video business man, I washed up on the rock, say like, no, very little success. And very hard like I could I could do it with more effort. I could do it to a point where I could live just maybe but it would be very challenging man, like so. So my hat goes off to anyone here working in this environment. Like, this is the scary thing. Use it up in this like, struggle to live situation, literally. And yeah, that's been pretty scary. So there's the challenges are real bad. Like, like, for example, we talked about this before we got on the call, like, if you're pumping water for a lot of the day and moving around water all day, and then you're exhausted from that, how are you supposed to be an entrepreneur and like, set up a global team? Like it's laughable, you know?

Daniel De Biasi 54:19

And also you were able to get out from the situation because you knew there was something else but if somebody grew up in that environment, it's hard for them to leave because they know anything anything else that they don't know any better. They don't know how to get out they don't they don't know what else to do. Right?

Dan 54:35

Yeah, absolutely. And the mindset to like New Zealand's got a lot of a lot of faults, which I don't like but man financially, New Zealand is like, like, you could fall on money in New Zealand. But I have I have met some successful people here though. I have and they're not all it's not all bad. But it's a lot more real. Like the challenges are real man. Yeah.

Daniel De Biasi 55:00

And also you've been like it or not living in a big city or living in small communities. It's different, different lifestyle.

Dan 55:07

Yeah, and trying to build a new business, like it's worth mentioning too try to build a new business, say with video and photo. And with the COVID going on, you know, with businesses struggling with that, with me having no connections, not speaking the language, and not even being that good at what I do. You know, so that's been the challenges as well. So obviously, I wasn't going to be a financial success story straight away when you run a combo like that, you know, but I still made okay, money. I mean, I made like, definitely enough to cover for the month. So I did, but but I definitely have seen some challenges with that. Yeah.

Daniel De Biasi 55:45

I like to ask a question, because I guess you're staying in Romania, because your ex wife and your child is there. If you didn't have like the string that you're asked to stay in Romania because of your family, would you stay in Romania, because you see opportunity, do you because you'd like to count up, or you would like to go somewhere else?

Dan 56:02

Like, before I had my son, I had the sight perception of me that I'm like this, you know, like businessman like this, whatever, right? And even some of the negative sides to that, right, like cold or whatever, that you could say whatever, maybe. But then soon as I had my son, I just became this like, overnight loving father. So firstly, I went, Oh, I don't want to make a trillion dollars and like, impress my son. So I was working like, two hours of the night and my wife came through. So what are you doing? I'm like, I want my son to be proud of me, as I'm like, you know, like running all these things through the printer. She's like, he doesn't need you to be a millionaire, whatever, he needs you to be a father. And luckily, we had the resources, where I could really like, sink into that role and really, like be there for him and be there for her. So I was able to become like this really loving father where I like, had a sickly amount of time with him. So I've just like, I suppose, like, I've never experienced love as deep as this with my son. And, and man, he's just the most amazing little dude. He's taught me so much. And yeah, and so I just can't leave him now. And I can't. So wherever she goes to like Egypt, I've got to go to Egypt with my son, right? Because for now, like, till he's at an age where, because I'm definitely over with my wife. So till he's at an age where he can be, say, living with me full time if my wife wants that, or that's an option, or whatever. I've got to follow her lead now. But he loves his mom like his like mama's boy, like, we all probably we all maybe are. So he loves us. And it's different energy than he needs. So yeah, so that's answering that man. So I'm trapped. I'm trapped. Like, even if I have to work some job, like in a field, if I'm close to my son, like, I'll take that pain. Like, he's just the ultimate to me. So that he's my like, number one focus in life now. And it's like, even if I don't think it is it, my actions will show that. Like, even today, I went and picked him up. And I hung out with him all day. And I'm a really good father, like by by accident, like I don't see it happening. Like it hasn't been a conscious decision.

Daniel De Biasi 58:12

Yeah, that makes sense. Do you have any particular advice you want to give to the listeners?

Dan 58:17

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So I'd say double down on the language as much as we can. I'll speak for myself here as well. Obviously, any language you learn is going to be good. Like Romania is one of the easiest coming from English. So it's easy, but our it's just such a challenging mountain that we have to climb like one step at a time. And it feels like we're making no progress, but we are and, and that's gonna help tremendously. Like now now I'm in a different world now that I know some more language. So the language, like be ruthless with yourself about learning that be disciplined about learning that I feel? Would you agree with it?

Daniel De Biasi 58:58

Oh, totally. I mean, our situation is a little bit different. I mean, for me, learning English opened up so many different doors, so many different opportunities, just because English is a universal language. So the knowledge you can gain through English is, yeah, there's no other language that can give you the same kind of knowledge. But definitely, I mean, if you want to live in a country, if you want to create a life in a country, you will have to learn the language it's the only way to communicate with people and create connection with people. There's no other way.

Dan 59:28

Yeah, absolutely. And I think to the one thing I've noticed, like with the gym, I've been going pretty hard in the gym for three years. And only Now am I seeing like some results where I'm going, like, I've seen, like a real transformation now. And I'm really like happy but there's obviously levels to everything, but I'm really happy with my body now and I'm going woah like you know, and and I think you know, we under we overestimate what we can do in one year, but we underestimate what we can do in like three or five or 10 you know, so I think it's having that long term vision. This is what I've done with Italian, I'm like, I'm gonna chip away at Italian as well. And so now I'm starting to learn Italian, I like a Bon Joure, and Senore. And I love it, man. And I'm like learning Italian food. And so I think we just chip away, we'll get there and be kind to ourselves and be and don't put pressure like, hey, it's gonna take time, and it's gonna be kind, like, yeah, I'm maybe too kind of myself, but I'm like, hey, it's like, you're on the right right track. So, that's my advice is like, be kind on yourself too and be and be like, loving and understanding as far as it's gonna take time and effort, like, say, with a gym, you know, it's like, don't expect to be looking amazing straightaway, or, you know, just like, just keep showing up. And I noticed this at Christmas time, bro. Like, all the people who looked amazing, and, or who had nice bodies. And funnily enough, I was there the whole time through as well. And I'm starting to be pretty happy with my buddy. We're working out all through Christmas. And it was funny, because as Christmas rolled by, I was just horrified with the days off because I'm like, hold on, but that's leg down missing. Well, that's chest day. No, like, and so we were in such a strict schedule with with working out, you know, and so as the same with the language that that discipline will help help us. So and this is something I'm working on now as to having discipline. They're doing it when we don't want to do it, you know, as like, be more ruthless about making myself do it when I don't want to go too like, like, for example, with Romanian not learning language, because I'm a bit shitty at, like my ex wife and then a bit off the country. That's not that's not a good decision to do. Like, I need to be every day learning the language a, like a tree to we plant a tree, we can't get the fruit straightaway. It takes time isn't it? There's always a delay of time a? Yeah, it's everything takes a bit of time. And we're so impatient, you know, like, like, after a wife leaves. I want a woman now like we we want more money. I want the Porsche now I want the Rolex now, but it's like when we do the right moves, when we backwards engineer it, like says stupid $10,000 Rolex you go, Okay, well, how do I get excess of 10,000? Then? How much do I need to earn, say, a month to like bank? enough to get 10,000 together, you know? So that's why I've been pretty smart about doing is like, say with the language like said talion, bro, I'm like, okay, rather than just watch a movie. I'm like, I'll watch an Italian movie, you know?

Daniel De Biasi 1:02:21

Yeah, I agree. Awesome, Dan. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing your story on the podcast. If people wants to get in touch with you, what's the best way to find you?

Dan 1:02:31

Yeah, that sounds fantastic. I'm over the internet a bit. So Dan Lentz or Daniel Lentz. So with Lentz. But yeah, should be easy to find me on Facebook. I love Facebook, and Instagram is Dan_lentz. But it should be pretty easy.

Daniel De Biasi 1:02:48

Sweet. And as usual, all the links and everything will be in the show notes for people that so they can find you easily. Awesome. Thank you so much, then that was a pleasure.

Dan 1:02:56

Thank you, man. Thank you so much. Yeah, for my free counseling session as well.

Daniel De Biasi 1:03:04

It's no free. I'm gonna send you a bill. No worries.

Dan 1:03:07

I look forward to it.

Daniel De Biasi 1:03:10

Awesome thank you so much. Thank you so much for tuning in this week. You can find the show notes with everything we discussed at slash/episode35. If you want to support the show, you can share this episode with your friends. Or you can leave us a review on Apple podcast or pod chaser. If you want to be on the show and share your story you can visit Thanks for listening. Talk to you next one. Ciao.