Becoming a new mother abroad

Episode Description

When Marta and her husband decided to move to Japan, little did they know that they would also be starting a family. And while becoming a mother can be challenging for anyone, for Marta it was especially difficult. She had to learn how to navigate the Japanese healthcare system, deal with cultural differences, and learn new parenting skills all while adapting to life in a new country.

In this episode, she shares her experiences and offers advice to other mothers who may find themselves in a similar situation.

Marta is originally from Portugal. She lived in Spain, London, and now Japan. She also traveled the world as a flight attendant. Her first experience abroad was through a scholarship program called Erasmus. After that experience, she knew that her life was going to be away from Portugal. The exposure to many different cultures was eye-opening. So years later, Marta managed to move to England and found a job thanks to her background in aviation. In London, Marta met her husband who is from Belarus. When her husband's visa was about to expire, he had the opportunity to move to Japan. To do so the two had to get married, and they only had 3 days to do it.

Tips and key takeaways



Maria is a psychologist and intercultural coach who helps emigrants and expatriates to thrive living abroad. She supports people moving abroad and helps them to adapt and navigate through cultural differences. Maria has helped countless people to find their feet in a new culture, and she continues to inspire others with her passion for helping others.

Episode Transcript

Marta Castro  0:00  
I remember when my doctor, my daughter spoke English, and he said, Okay, so now you're pregnant, you need to go here and I would go there, take care of the papers and I remember have like a huge pile of papers with cute cartoons of mothers taking care of babies. And I'm like all in Japanese. And I was like, Okay, this is probably very useful, but not for me.

Daniel De Biasi  0:31  
Hi, everyone, and welcome to episode number 63 of Amy grants live podcast, a show where we help you move and settle abroad. In every episode, I sit down with a new guest who shares the story on how to start a new life overseas, and the reason behind that decision. Each story is unique, inspiring and packed with air for information to prepare you for your new adventure, you will find something useful either if you're planning to go abroad or you're ready there. I'm de biasI. And in this episode, I had the pleasure of talking to Martha Martha is originally from Portugal and her first experience living abroad was to study in Spain years later, back in Portugal, she became a flight attendant to fulfill her desire to travel the world and experience different cultures. Something she discovered was her passion. That job were criticized by our peers open multiple doors in their career abroad starting from England or Martha started a fresh new life and later on met her future husband, that you now live in Japan. But the journey to get there was not what you would call an easy one. To start to stay together. They had to get married. And they Holly had three days to organize the wedding. And they would help Roxy, which when your partner's from an ex Soviet country, the process can be a complete nightmare. Then in Japan, they started a family and you can all imagine your heart going through pregnancy, giving birth and becoming a new mother in a foreign country with such a different culture. And without speaking the language can be. In this episode, we will talk about scholarship in Europe, getting married to get a visa healthcare system and being a new mother abroad. There are a few things that we touched that you might need to know, especially when we discussed about the cost of airfare and the challenges to be a new mother in a foreign country. But before moving to my conversation with Marta, make sure to subscribe wherever you listen to your podcasts so you won't miss any new episodes. And now without further ado, please enjoy my conversation with Marta. Hey, Martha, thanks for being on the show. Hi, Danielle, thank you so much for inviting me. It's a pleasure. Oh, it's my pleasure. So Martha, you are originally from Portugal, lamed in Spain, England, and now Japan. But do you remember the moment that you realize you didn't want to live in Portugal and wanted to wanted to move abroad?

Marta Castro  2:48  
When I was in university, I understood that we had this opportunity to do Erasmus program. And I thought this is amazing opportunity to meet another students from Europe and to live by myself for a couple of months. And I thought it was going to be awesome. And I moved to Spain at that time, just for half year. And I must say that it was one of the best things I have done in life. It opened up myself to other ways of thinking other backgrounds. One of my best friends was actually an Italian guy who lived with Hema Gladstone put away. So we ended up having this experience living with a community of immigrants in Malaga. So, I had an experience a little bit different from other students. But it was so so rich, by the time I finished the Erasmus program, and I can tell you that I spent all my traveling back crying because I knew this space and time is finished. And even if I come back to Malaga, it would not ever be the same thing. And at that time, I understood, I have to do this again, I have to live abroad again, I have to study abroad again. So I came back to Portugal. I finished my master's in psychology. And I had as well this feeling that I cannot have yet a nine to six job, I need to develop myself and travel more. And all of these came with the Erasmus experience.

Daniel De Biasi  4:22  
So your main reason like to try and to do this Erasmus, which for the listeners that don't know exactly what the Rossmo says, Erasmus is it's a student exchange program just only for the European countries, if I remember correctly. And also, I did some research and correct me if I'm wrong, but it's a pretty much it's not expensive to do is actually covered by the government and you actually get paid monthly was that case?

Marta Castro  4:50  
To be honest. It was not my case. I think it might change from the countries you live in. I think maybe you have Have some sort of subsidy that I really don't remember. I remember just, you know what Daniel tried to count all my coins, you know? So I understood like completely that I came from a poor country because the life the Germans were leaving, I was leaving

Daniel De Biasi  5:22  
was not as expensive as like a, like an international student to go and study abroad. That's what

Marta Castro  5:27  
I'm Yes. Yeah. Like, for example, you would not have to pay the universe, for example, that would be an added cost, and you really don't so

Daniel De Biasi  5:35  
for you at the moment, the main reason to go and explore during this experience was mainly to try like a different culture explore different culture.

Marta Castro  5:44  
Yes, yeah, definitely. It was meeting other type of students from so many countries and with different backgrounds in mind that we're studying different things. And we had in common learning a language and meeting other type of people, and Israel living by myself for the first time because I was still living with my parents during university.

Daniel De Biasi  6:05  
If someone wants to do that on Erasmus, what is the process we have to be like a great students or anybody can apply to it?

Marta Castro  6:12  
Anybody can apply? It does not depends on your veyts. You might have some troubles with the vacancies. For example, if you want to go to Ramallah University, maybe you just have to do four vacancies. But like, you don't need to be a super genius person to do it, as was a no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, in my case, I didn't even have to attend classes, which was great. So I didn't have to do any tests or anything. It was really a different experience. Yes.

Daniel De Biasi  6:39  
Oh, perfect. And also, like, I just wanted to point it out, because I have like a two friends that didn't Ross most in Spain, in Madrid. And they did at the same time, but their experience was quite different. Like one came back. And she knew that there wasn't a life, she knew that it couldn't, she couldn't stay away from her family. And the other one was actually the opposite is actually one of the guy that interviewed previously on the podcast Fabrizio, he still lives in, in Madrid. So what is your experience when you want to come back?

Marta Castro  7:08  
I was crying before I left Malaga, you know that I was crying. Like, I thought, this cannot finish here. Like, why can I live like this forever, like, I need to do this, again, I need to experience other people from different countries, I need to learn more like my country is like, one culture, like, I definitely need to travel more to see more to experience more. When I moved, it was always for personal development and professional development, you know, to grow yourself, like internally, I think is such an open minded experience. So this was definitely the case that I need to do this, again, whether it's studying abroad or living abroad, I knew that I have to do it, I have to do it. And I had this after this certainty in my life that I will leave abroad.

Daniel De Biasi  8:02  
Because there are almost it's kind of like a close window. Once you finish, you finish, you have to come back home. Right.

Marta Castro  8:07  
Exactly, exactly. And I think that's the the hard thing as well. Because then you suddenly go back to your country with your same friends, the same things. And you just six months ago, you're meeting like people from whatever and doing so many different things that you don't have in your country and you grow so much, even with your friends or relationship changes, you know, a little bit like reverse culture shock, you cannot put into words exactly what you experienced. Because if you tell your friends, they will not understand what type of experience are you talking about? What is this? Okay, yeah, you met people from so many countries. And what's that, and this so much richer than that, when you grow up so much, is like when you're going back to Italy, and you cannot tell everybody what you did and how you learn and how you go and how you change is so difficult to put into words. And sometimes people don't even, like so open to hear it. And it can be a little bit I don't know, sad and frustrating at that times. So definitely it was Erasmus that I had this certainty that I need to do this. I need to live abroad.

Daniel De Biasi  9:19  
So what did you do once once you come back to Portugal was whatever the next step in order for you to leave again.

Marta Castro  9:26  
So my next step was finishing up my master's degree in psychology. And I had this feeling that I cannot have a nine to six job just everyday doing the same thing. And I applied to be a flight attendant. You might imagine Daniel, I was so criticized by my family and some fans. You didn't master degree in psychology. Why are you flying coffee and orange juice coffee, orange juice, when flight attendant is so much more than that? And I've been to places that I would never have the opposite. tunity to go because I was working with different types of airline. So I went to the Falkland Islands, I had my Christmas with military guys, you know, in the Falkland Islands, I transported the pilgrims to Mecca. All these social skills that you build when you when you fly, you can always apply them to your work life. So it's not just about orange juice and coffee is so much more than that. And you traveled to so many places. And again, you have colleagues with completely different backgrounds that you learn with them. And you understand that you don't need to follow what people tell you to do. If it does not make sense to you. And for me at that time, it did not make sense to me to have a nine to six job. When I look back, I'm so proud of myself for having the courage to do something different, despite being so criticized. Because again, it built my confidence, and it built my social skills to decide to move abroad again. So by the time I finished work as a flight attendant, because I was exhausted, and I had like completely different schedules, and I could not sleep during the day and having these naps to to boost your energy. And I said, Okay, I just say the nine to six job for now. And because of my master's and the experience of flying, then I was able to have a very good job in HR in an airline. And after, I think it was four years, I decided okay, I cannot draw more here. And I was studying at that time, psychology, again, like psychotherapy. And I wanted to go to the psychoanalytic Institute in London. And I was very lucky that my sister just called me and told me, Martha, you know what, I'm going to have six months in London. And I thought that was so selfish, Danielle, I thought her, Oh my god, that is perfect for me. Because I want to go to the Institute, and I can try to find a job because you will be there and you have a place. So be selfish. I understand that. She was so kind. We were helping each other as well. And I managed as well to find a job in London. And actually, it was because of my aviation background again, I was so criticized by the decision of flying, but it was actually what made me have good job in Portugal and being valued abroad. So in London, there was a recruiter that told me Mark, you have such a nice background in aviation. Why don't you focus your CV like applications before, like recruitment companies in aviation. I'm so grateful for that recruiter advice because I was able to focus on my strategy and know like, okay, so this is, I have good experience in HR with experience in aviation. And I will focus my search, instead of applying to 1000s of jobs, I was way more focused. And in two months, I managed to find the job. It was really, really good to have this inside information for someone that is leaving, they're telling you what to do. It was really, really nice advice.

Daniel De Biasi  13:17  
You had experience in aviation, which is probably the reason why you decided to take the route to take that job. So you already had an experience of like traveling and moving in different countries. But now you decided to permanently move to another country because the beginning when you do their Atmos, there was a window you know exactly your family and friends knew when you were some point you were coming back, but this point was a little bit different because you decide to move to another country move your life to another country. I'd like to know like what did your family and friends say? Or how did they react when you told them that you wanted to didn't want to live in Portugal wanted to move to London?

Marta Castro  13:58  
I think they were a bit surprised by the by the decision. But at the same time. I think they knew already that I wanted to live abroad. They might not think it was so suddenly. But they understood my decision. They knew like I was stuck in a job and that I just I just wanted more. I'm not saying that they fully supported me but they kind of understand me the my decision at the same time. That's the good thing about being the second child is because they had that experience with my sister and she was already living abroad. So it was not like something new for them to deal with. It was like Okay, another one is

Daniel De Biasi  14:46  
about you because now you're not going to school anymore. Now you're kind of starting a new life in another country. Were you in any way scared or worried about moving to moving to London?

Marta Castro  14:59  
I think I was more excited than scared. You know, I was way more excited. I thought, Okay, what, what is the worst thing that can happen if I don't have a job? Okay? And I cannot find a house where to leave, I can always, you know, when you have a solid base where you can come back, I think you feel safer. No, I have, okay, I have my family in Portugal. And I can always come back if something was very wrong, which was not the case I actually working in the UK is so much better comparing to Portugal, because they value your work. They say thank you, if you stay longer hours, they value your language skills is so much different from Portugal, where you just are supposed to work extra time without people even saying thank you sometimes. So I felt, you know, despite being a different culture, there's some things that you actually value more. It makes us feel more comfortable as well and valued. And I remember, I was a bit embarrassed by my language skills and my Portuguese accent. And I was so excited to live in London, and I was telling my manager Oh, I'm so excited. I can work on my British accent. And he was like, Why do you want to do that? Your accent is so nice. You can express yourself and you you're different than us. Why do you want to be like us? What's the point? I know that not everyone thinks like that. But it was so nice for me to be recognized and valued despite my lack of English skills because people that that English is not their language they trouble we recognize these like, there are so much of the words that you don't learn in school in English schools, like British Council will not teach you the find that you normally find that work. I remember the first time when I when I was on a computer and someone I received an email say as someone this person moved to greener pastures and finish pastures cleaner. Is this person moving to the countryside? Because it was like just finding another job. So these kinds of things you don't learn, you learn that you learn on the go. That was really interesting.

Daniel De Biasi  17:20  
You brought up a good point, like the fact that for English speakers like oxygen, I mean, I don't even know if I have an oxygen I I kind of do I kind of I don't feel I have an accent but people say I do it when you hear yourself. Exactly for loss, I think is kind of like a shame. I remember the big the beginning when I was doing podcasts. I was like a really saying to my voice like uh, sounds so freaking weird. And like are so kind of a shame on my accent. But for English speaker, that's actually a good quality is actually they appreciate our accent so I can Yes, yeah, you brought up like a really, really good point.

Marta Castro  17:56  
Yeah, it's like if you think about when people go to Portugal and they speak Portuguese, and I'm just so incredibly like excited, like, Oh, my God speaks so nicely. How do you how do you unwind? How did you learn this person is such a different, a difficult language. So I think it's very good for the other person to be valued with, with an effort to learn about the language.

Daniel De Biasi  18:16  
Oh, absolutely. But I want to go a little bit into the technicality you How did you find the job in London? So like, because you you find the job before going to London? How did you manage that?

Marta Castro  18:27  
Oh, no, no, no. So what I did was, we have a Portuguese expression. That means testing the waters, which was sending CVS, seeing if I get some answers, and I understood that people were calling me. But when I said that I was in Portugal, they didn't like via me that much this ad so when you move, please contact us again. But I understood that the market was moving and it had like many calls and people that were interesting, interested in in my CV. So I understood that the market in the UK is and comparable to to the Portuguese market. So I had a good feeling about being able to find a job. And I think that's very important. Actually, before moving to Tokyo, I did the same thing. So I contacted many people, I asked many questions. What do you think? Will I be able to find a job or not? Can I work in your company or not? So I think if you test a little bit, if you start having a little bit more information about how the job market works, you start to have a feeling of how you should change your CV, how you should adjust these little things that makes different for you to be successful. So when I moved to London, I already had this feeling okay, I can do this, this will be possible to find a good job. And the same thing happened in Tokyo so I had this feeling that okay, it's going to be very hard because I don't speak Japanese but it can happen. I was very positive in that sense. Testing a little bit before going and I think that's very important. Yeah,

Daniel De Biasi  20:01  
you're absolutely right. And also like, so you were, you decided to move to London, you already have a sister in law on the part of the family. So you already have a place to stay. Yeah, you had the confidence that you were able to find a job, and that we are excited to get on the plane and go Ferrari, right. So excited. So everything sounds perfect. But there's something that like we discussed this last time we spoke that you at that time you you were in a relationship where you decided to move to London, you have to hand this relationship. So there might be the listeners out there, there might be in the same situation where they need to decide one or the other, or stay with the partner or follow the dreams moving abroad. So what made you decide to going to Nanos, the right decision for you?

Marta Castro  20:47  
So yeah, I had a long relationship, we were together for 10 years. And he supported me with that decision, he knew that it was something that I wanted to do. And he was supportive in that sense, which was very, very good. What happened was that we ended up growing apart, because suddenly your life completely changes, you are in a different world, with different people with completely different opportunities, new habits, so many more things are happening in like in London, comparing to Lisbon, and the other person stays in the same place with the same people doing the same things. And we kind of grew up apart. I mean, I'm not specialists in relationships. But the best advice I was given was from one of my friends that said, you don't need to make a decision, because things will change. And you will see at that time, if you are lucky enough to have a partner that says, This is what you want, please go when you will figure it out, I think you really have to do it, if it's something that you really want to do it. And he might ended up going or you might feel like this is no longer make sense. You don't need to come up with a decision. Let's break up now. Because I want to live abroad, you can just see how things and and see how things go. Because by the time we finished, it was not so hard, because we were already grieving this relationship ending. So to be honest, I think that initial support he gave me was as well very important for me to be able to go abroad, feeling confident. So if you break up, and suddenly you have this huge relationship that finished and you're going to try something new, and it's so stressful. If you have the support of someone, it's why not, you know, you don't need to break up, you can just see how things go and how things change. I think that was the best advice. One of my friends told me. And I'm very grateful because I followed that. And I said, Okay, we don't need to come up with a decision now that see how things how things flow. And we ended up drawing apart. But it was it was fine. Yeah.

Daniel De Biasi  22:59  
Because like if you're in the relationship with the one wants to move abroad, and once doesn't, it's hard to find a path that actually matches at some point, right?

Marta Castro  23:09  
For sure. For sure. Especially because my boyfriend at the time, he had a business that he wanted to grow in Portugal. So it's understandable that he did not want to move at that point in life. But for me, that point in life was exactly when I should do it, you know, then yeah, so yeah, we didn't meet and we drove separately in different ways. But I don't regret it at all, like, at all, then yeah. That's all I ended up like meeting my husband in London. And I'm so happy, you know, no,

Daniel De Biasi  23:43  
absolutely. I speak as a single person that I had the opportunity when I left Italy to move with with someone, but decided to not pursue that route and going on my own, which had, as you said, like, I don't regret it at all, because the opportunity that a single person created because then you don't go with the other half. You explored the war, you grow your network, you put yourself out there because it's you have to you have to find yourself. So that's the difference. I'm going to ask you another question about relationship and moving abroad as a couple later. But now I want to talk about Japan and Tokyo because you mentioned that now. We mentioned the beginning. But you mentioned it again. Then you now live in Japan, Tokyo. How did Japan come up?

Marta Castro  24:34  
So my husband's visa was finishing and he had to quickly come up with a solution for his situation. Actually, he wanted to move to Germany and then they said, Look, we don't have vacancies here in Germany. Would you like to go to Tokyo? It was very unexpected. I think he never thought like he would live in Tokyo in his life and said why not? And he had an interview here. And he said, You know what? It is quite okay. It seems good people are friendly, and is like it's very clean, and very organized. This should be fine. And I said, Look, I've never been to Japan before. So yeah, let's go. It sounds cool. So it wasn't always like that.

Daniel De Biasi  25:21  
Because even for us that new opportunity to like learn another culture and explore a very different culture, because like moving from Portugal to Spain to England, is different is different bodies, not as different as going to Asia going to Japan. Oh, definitely.

Marta Castro  25:38  
Definitely. Yes, completely different, completely different adjustments.

Daniel De Biasi  25:43  
And last time we spoke, you mentioned that you guys have to get married in order to in order to get to Japan, why was it.

Marta Castro  25:52  
So basically, for Japan, with my visa, European visa, you are able just to spend 90 days here in Japan, so it does not allow you to live in Japan. And obviously, if you are here, as a tourist, you cannot find a job, you're not supposed to do that. We understood that to be able to move together. This was a step that we both had to do, we needed to officialize our relationship to be able to move together, it was very hard because we didn't have time to prepare, you know, when you are in your country with the same person of the same nationality. You can have one year to prepare your marriage and blah, blah, blah, and choose your venue. And suddenly you are two people from two different countries. I have so many paperwork that you need to figure that out. What are the right documents, the wrong documents? You need? I don't know. It was so hard. I think it was so stressful. It was the most stressful part on my journey in London was to get married. It was really really hard. Very stressful.

Daniel De Biasi  26:54  
I mean, I know a few few of my friends that got married, and it's usually an easy process usually already pretty stressful. I can't even imagine what was how stressful was for you guys.

Marta Castro  27:05  
Yes, she mentioned like his visa was finishing, he would not be allowed to be in the UK, he would not be allowed. And then like I had to go to Portugal, try to figure it out the best documents. And then they said no, he needs to come here. And I'm like, No, he cannot come here to Portugal to do this process. I came up with a paper that was accepted in Belarus. And actually, when we were in Belarus, we were still unsure if you're able to get married. I could make a movie out of these three days, you know, that we spent to get married in balance? Yeah, it was the most stressful thing I have done, like, at that time and in my journey on London.

Daniel De Biasi  27:44  
So from the moment that you find out that you have this opportunity to go to Japan, how long do you guys have to get it done?

Marta Castro  27:53  
That's a good question. I think maybe three, four months to get everything ready to move abroad?

Daniel De Biasi  28:00  
Because you're you. I mean, you were living in London, you had a job from France, your life was there. So you have like, three or four months to plan your wedding and figure out the next move to move your life somewhere else.

Marta Castro  28:12  
Yes, exactly. We were not even living together at that time. We had set numbers, separate rooms, and we suddenly have to move everything for one house to be able to ship everything to Japan to get married very quickly and send the papers here to have the visas to come to Japan. I was just lucky that because my husband is from Belarus. He's so used to this verot receipts and these papers and for things to be very hard at while for me. Everything was new, you know, to go to the UK, I just needed a plane ticket. I didn't need visa, I didn't need anything. And suddenly, I have to come up with all these papers to get married all these papers to have visas. And my husband was like super relaxed. Yes, it's fine. Fine.

Daniel De Biasi  29:02  
That's a great example of the difference between man and woman.

Marta Castro  29:08  
It was so much more relaxed. Because to go to the UK, he has such a huge process of documents and he had to do like tuberculosis exams. Well, for me it was a plane ticket. And I was just because he was one invalid was and I was born in Portugal. That's the only difference.

Daniel De Biasi  29:24  
How long have you guys were together before we have to decide to get married?

Marta Castro  29:30  
Less than one over near something. I

Daniel De Biasi  29:34  
mean, getting married is a big commandment change. Yeah, right. Yeah. Did you have like a second thought that maybe we had to figure out another way to go to Japan or otherwise you have a second thought about getting married so quickly?

Marta Castro  29:48  
That was a very good question. You know what I think I'm very particular on that question because I never wanted to get married. It was not something that was in my plans. You know, I got married Like it was, I never really cared about that. But then I understood that okay to be together in Japan, we need to do this. And I thought, okay, it's fine. isn't. It's not something special. It's so funny, because when I got married the day before, Danielle, I was crying so much. I was like, What am I doing with my life? I just met his parents. I met his daughter and going to get married tomorrow, if the translator is going to show up, what am I doing? I'm so nervous. And like, my life is changing so much so quickly. And we are really going to do this. So for someone that, you know, that said, I Okay, let's get married. Because this is important at that time. It was such a hard process, you know, to do it, then. Yeah, but I never thought it was going to be so hard and so difficult and so stressful. For someone that said, yeah, let's get married, because this is what we need to do. It's a very particular question.

Daniel De Biasi  30:59  
You met his parents, or the day of the when you got when you guys got married? Yes. So a few steps.

Marta Castro  31:11  
Imagine me as I go, so the first time in Bella Luce, where I will get married, and meet his parents, and he has a daughter already. It was so stressful, Danielle, I cannot explain you like I felt completely. You're doing something crazy. But at the same time that this feels so right, that it cannot be wrong. And I'm very into that you need to follow your guts. I'm very into this follow your instinct, because we are normally right. You know, it was very stressful. But I'm still married. And we are working on Super vaids. So I think it was, I don't know, I would do it. everything all over again. But it was very stressful. I think I mentioned you first time we talk. When we were going to Bella this my husband said Martha maybe at some dress in the bag, just in case we are able to marry. I had a red dress in my wardrobe. Okay, I put to a red dress. Event dress, you know? And I said okay, maybe we will be able to do this. Then we were able to find a place they didn't accept our our documents. They were they were closing then another place didn't have the venue. So we were able to to get married last minute. And with someone like staring up at me saying Do you know why you are here? Are you sure? Yes, yes, I know. I know. He does everything in Russia. Yes, I know. I am. Being like back here

Daniel De Biasi  32:52  
like a your parents who need these parents like where did you think like even your friends like they were saying like a martyr. Well, what are you guys doing here?

Marta Castro  33:00  
Yes, I remember I called my parents on a Tuesday. And I told them Hi. I'm going to get married on Saturday. No, it's a little bit

a little bit like strange and creepy that this is something that I need to do. You know, we are moving to Japan. And Father. Okay, Martin, is this is what you need to do, then, okay. Yes.

Daniel De Biasi  33:39  
Oh, I bet. But I asked you that question because I remember when I moved here to Canada, I was struggling to get my work permit to stay longer in the country. And at the time, I had a girlfriend. And we're like, we're talking with immigration advisors and multiple Immigration Adviser gave the same answer the same kind of advice like guys, you need to get married. Just it's the easiest way to stay for Daniel to stay in the country if you guys getting married. And when hire like this advice multiple times, I will start thinking about like my friends and family like what are they going to think about just me getting married just to stay in the country is not. I mean, a lot of people romanticize the fact that you getting married for love, blah, blah blah. For me like getting married is mostly like a contract. But for many people, you're getting married for love, you know, all that kind of things, which I understand but that's not me. So that's why I was asking that question because I can see what other time I felt when other people will think of me getting married for for getting a visa.

Marta Castro  34:37  
I understand that question. But at the same time, you're getting married, for you to be able to move abroad and stay together. So that is about love for you to be able to be together. And because you are getting married because you love each other in order to be able to be together is not just about the contract. At least it was not the reason I have done it, I had to do it. But I did it because I wanted to stay with the person that I love in the same country. So even if you are forced to do it, it does not mean it does not take the love out of it, actually, it adds up. Because, for me, it was something that it was not in my plans. And suddenly I had to deal with that. And I'm doing it because I love him so much. And I want to be together,

Daniel De Biasi  35:24  
I'll make some absolutely turns from like our point of view as immigrants that you have to be together or to do certain things. That's one of the paths we have to take. Yes, I

Marta Castro  35:35  
think that you very rare because you managed to stay in Canada without getting married. Or maybe what happened to you that you think you were unsure? Or you?

Daniel De Biasi  35:46  
I mean, I think we were together for less than a year at that point. So for me, I thought that you know what, there must be another way to do this. Because if that didn't work out, we could have moved somewhere else. She had the passport to move to Europe, so we could find another way to stay together. So there was an okay, I didn't want to get married. I didn't want that commandment at that point in relationship.

Marta Castro  36:08  
You know? That's it, there's no right answer, because it really depends on you, but you follow your stinting that was saying, this is not. And I follow mine that was saying, this is it like even if it's super crazy. And so I think at the end you it's completely different situations. But we followed our this instinct that tells us this is the right thing, or this is not the right thing. So yeah,

Daniel De Biasi  36:34  
absolutely. And now we're going back to the questions that we mentioned earlier, like a moving as a single that you did in when you weren't around them versus moving as a couple. What are the difference? And that you find like, is it easier to move as a carport or the single? What's the difference?

Marta Castro  36:53  
That's a very good question. I think when you're single, you just do things by yourself, like you organize whatever you want in your own way. And suddenly, when you are a couple, you know that all these little annoyances that we have when you move together, I had them in Japan. So suddenly, I'm leaving together for the first time with my husband. And in a different country, it was very stressful, we had to sort of organize ourselves together for everything to work out. But because you were doing that together, actually, I think it made us stronger. Because he suddenly had to start work like a lot. And I was one solving everything, you know, all the bills, or the bureaucracies I was doing building you do all these things. So I was one going shopping for whatever was in Japan that you rent the houses with zero things inside. So you have to buy everything. So I was the one like going to the stores talking with people buying our basic needs, you know, basic than Yeah, because the house was empty. You see, like, one person is doing some things and other, the other person is doing another things to be able to live together and for everything to be successful. So I think at the end, it makes us more united because you are working for the same goal. And it's so stressful this first few months living abroad, maybe moving to Japan alone, it would be a completely different experience. You just how can I say this, even now, Danielle, I think you could not be abroad just for you or just for your husband or just for your kids. It kind of has has to have a big purpose for all the family working together. It has to make sense for me, I need to be happy with my life and the things I'm doing in my career. He needs to be happy with the things that he's doing with his hobbies. And it needs to make sense to our child. So I think we have to come up with solutions very quickly, for everything to work to go smooth in for us to be happy. So you very quickly learned to work as a team.

Daniel De Biasi  39:00  
Ashley, like you mentioned challenges about moving to Japan. I mean, I guess the main challenge is the culture shock could be one of them, right? The language barrier. What other challenges do you have to overcome in terms of like moving to Japan and the culture of Japan?

Marta Castro  39:17  
I think the biggest challenge that I had to face here in Japan was not cause shock was not adaptation was not job challenges. The biggest challenge I had in Japan was to be a mother. It was really a life, life changing experiences. I think all the parents will tell you that it changes us so much. But for me it was in ways that I was not expecting and I understood how lonely we were when I had a son how we did not have the proper support system. That was the biggest challenge. For example just how can I say this? I ended up thinking like am getting crazy what is happening to me And I had to build my support system by myself, you know, like, Okay, where do I need help? What do I need to make me feel better. And I wanted to come back to work because I think that would be good for me as well to speak with adults, to start getting my life back on track, I had a babysitter coming to my place to be a little bit with my son to play with him, while I was trying to work from home, I started to have mommy and baby classes, so I could speak with other mothers. And again, being able to be with teachers and to ask questions and, and just, you know, venting about your experience abroad and having a kid abroad. You know, this African proverb that says, you need a village to raise a child. And I completely understand that now, because I had to build all these sources of help around me that it was it was because I was able to build that support system, that I ended up feeling better and getting my life on track and preparing me to be more independent and having my my life back again, like my hobbies, my career. And you know, when you have a baby in your country, everything is more or less the same. You have your parents have family coming, you have your, your friends that want to have kids already have kids, and you can talk it's so much more people around you and you have your doctors that speak your own language. And suddenly you are in Japan, I almost just arrived here, so I barely had any friends. I just started to work. I didn't have anybody to speak about what, you know, my my daily finances in Japan and being a new mother, I started to build these little helps, you know, like, speaking with a therapist, speaking with nurses, speaking with Dr. Going to mommy and daddy classes, having a babysitter asking for help to clean the house. Now I understand how important it is all of the support around you, for you to feel good. And that was my biggest challenge was to become a mother definitely. Oh, absolutely.

Daniel De Biasi  42:03  
I mean, I have friends and like many friends now they're the baby and just becoming a mother going through pregnancy, giving birth, and then raising a child is already very challenging. A school a job is very, very challenging, right? For you. If you are in a country where you don't know, the healthcare system, you don't know. Because when you're wrong, you know, exactly, you're surrounded by the people that either can help you or you already know the system you grew up there, you know that to certain things or to go see the doctor, you might have a family doctor, you know, all these things. Exactly. But when you when you are abroad, especially in your case that Japan, probably they will system how everything works is very much different from the European system. And the language barrier. can't even imagine what it will be for you to like going through all of that process.

Marta Castro  42:52  
Yeah, so I remember when my doctor, my daughter spoke English, and he said, Okay, so now you're pregnant, you need to go here and I will go there take care of the papers. And I remember have like a huge pile of papers with cute cartoons of mothers taking care of babies. And I'm like, all in Japanese. And I was like, Okay, this is probably very useful. But and, or being the hospital and in this hospital, the nurses speak Japanese, so I had to translate or just say like pain, and then it was a pain and then medication. So it adds up the stress of being a mother, it really adds

Daniel De Biasi  43:33  
even more is that thing that you can't communicate in? No, no, if they understand what you're saying, maybe they treated the children the thing properly, because I understand what you're saying. It's so there's so many things that you don't know, unless you're into the into the process. I'm saying that because I recently went to the hospital because I had appendicitis even that I have the same, exactly the same thing. And as you look up any side appendicitis again. And when I was in New Zealand to cure with antibiotics, this time, they have to have to go to surgery. But in both cases, first of all, health care going to the hospital can be very expensive if it's not covered. Luckily for me in New Zealand at two years visa so that was covering domestic government will taking care of the expenses. In Canada, there's a kind of like public health care system, they you pay monthly, but you got like a free health care. So I didn't have to pay anything for that. But in some circumstances, you have to keep that in consideration that going to a hospital is very expensive. Are you an example when I moved here, the first time in Canada, I was like affiliate very sick. My girlfriend took me to the emergency room to go and see the doctor. Because at the time I didn't have a work visa. So I wasn't allowed to have a public health care system in Canada. Just going through the emergency room was over $1,000 Just to go through the emergency room. I didn't even see the doctor at that point. So I don't even know how much would it be to see a doctor imagine. And so I asked how much would it be to see a doctor. They couldn't give me the answer. like those are the things that are maybe normally people know when I'm moving abroad. And thing my you have to keep in consideration, especially in your seat, okay situation situation like yours or where you are a couple that these things can happen in it. And if the visa you got can cover it, if you have health insurance, does that cover it soon thinks you need to keep a consideration that's just that could be very challenging. Probably could be expensive even process to go through. What was your experience in Japan?

Marta Castro  45:29  
Yeah, so I think Japan has a good thing that everything is, you know, always what to expect, always in every situation. So by the time I got pregnant, the doctor already told me like, where could I find the tickets to have health insurance coverage, he explained me that some appointments would not be covered. And as well, I already had the price of giving birth, like with a C section or not C section, it was a huge amount of money than Yeah, but at the same time, like we knew, Okay, already in advance. So we knew we had to put this money until that date, to be able to pay for everything. So I think the good thing about Japan is that, like, it's really no surprise, like they explain you the whole process and giving birth is this, if you have a C section, then is that and what is covered or not. And so by the time we were coming home, we knew the exact amount we had to pay. It was very stressful. Yeah, that was very stressful. You

Daniel De Biasi  46:36  
guys, you know, international life insurance or anything like that.

Marta Castro  46:40  
No. So when you have a work permit, so it means that the company is taking care of that. So it's covered. Oh, okay. So for example, I came with a dependent visa. So it means that if something happened to me, if I need a doctor, I have a health insurance that I can use. So it's a percentage that will be covered, you still have to pay, but some percentage will always be covered. The good thing about Japan and kids is that you don't need to pay anything to go to pediatricians or to have vaccinations. So it's really, really good in that sense. Like every time I go to the doctor, or if I think He's coughing, and I want to make sure if he's good, I don't need anything, you know, we'd go by bicycle. And he the doctor checks him and don't need to pay for pills or need to pay for medication. That's really, really good in Portugal does not work like that.

Daniel De Biasi  47:33  
Can you imagine like other people being in the same situation, knowing the amount of money maybe you have to pay to go to the hospital that give you birth, the challenges that you have to go through for the health care, the language barrier, and then raising a child with all the support on the family was at any point you guys thought, You know what, maybe we should go back to Portugal back to Belarus.

Marta Castro  47:54  
To be honest, now, I know that many people think actually, I had two friends when I was seven and said, This is it. I'm going back to my country. Another one had a kid and said, This is too much. I'm going back to my country. But for me, it never made sense. Because we had a house, we had jobs. Like this is our life. My life is here. Why am I moving just because I have a kid, I should be able to have a kid where I am with my husband. So it never crossed my mind to go back. But it was very hard. And I almost got crazy. I asked for help, you know. And when people asked me, one of the advices that you give is asked for help as soon as possible. Don't be afraid if you don't feel well. Ask for help. Because professional will always be able to help you not your friends, not your family. Especially because friends and family. They have their own worries and their own motivations. And they project on you eyes better if you do this. No, that's better for you. Not for me. So you need to separate separate like their own motivations and their own fears from your fears and your or motivations. And for me what was very clear that I'm here I have a job here. I love to live here. And this is very difficult. But I mean, people have given birth through centuries and they somehow managed I have to manage it as well. And yeah, suddenly I started to understand okay, let's ask for help with a well if I spoke with a therapist, and it was wonderful to know. Then you're saying someone telling you, Marta, what you have, what are you passing is absolutely normal. You need to be able to rest go back to your life, and you'll feel better very soon. I think that's the best advice I can give you someone is thinking about this is too much or I don't know what is happening to me. Just ask for professional help because you'll feel much better after just speaking with a person for 15 minutes.

Daniel De Biasi  50:00  
And on the same note, imagine that you have to give going to the same situation have to give birth in a in another country, let's say you move again. What did you learn from your first experience? And that you will now do differently? Or what would you do now?

Marta Castro  50:16  
I think I would prepare that earlier on, you know, Danielle, for example, I would search for where our mothers meeting, where do young mothers meet with the kids? What are they doing, or fathers? What are new new couples, with the babies doing with their babies to be together? Was that important, because when you when you have a son or a newborn, you've spent a lot of time alone. And, and you're very tired, and you think this is just happening to me, and I'm not doing something good, or you feel very insecure, especially I think with the first one. So if you have another mother saying, Oh, my God, my baby's cry all the night, I've couldn't get any sleep, anything, okay? This is not just me, and it happens to every mother and all of us are insecure, all of us have this more or less the same struggles, and you feel immediately connected. Now, even if you are in a different country, the struggles that mothers have are usually the same. So I think I will definitely have the support system more in place. You know, not not just after six months now guys know already, what new mothers are doing, where are they going? Where are they meeting? Do they have a proper care facility for new mothers to be able to find each other and meeting with the babies? What kind of help their governments provides? You know, because there are many things that we don't know, because we are foreigners? And we don't know even that they exist? And you'll learn after? And then you think, Oh, that would be very useful? Yes, but because at that time, you just have so many things that you don't even think of that is possible.

Daniel De Biasi  51:55  
Another change in your life after becoming a mother was your even your career because I remember you were saying that when you moved to Japan, you had some similar career into navigation, right? But then kind of went downhill after COVID hit, nobody will traveling all the flights for down. So it was like a big change as well, like, how did you manage the change? Yes,

Marta Castro  52:19  
very important question. And I think many people from aviation that will hear this will probably feel the same. It was a very sad time. So Japan started to close the borders, no foreigners were coming in, they cancel all the training for pilots. Because of contracts, they canceled flights. So it was a very sad time, you know, to work in aviation at that time. My job suddenly was not making sense, because I was responsible for bringing pilots to Japan and to have the interviews and assessments. But suddenly, I could not do anything. And you know, they finished my contract because I was not able to work. And when I finished, I finished with a sense of a little bit. What sad times are we living in? At the same time, this opens the door for better things as well, like, what do I really want to do. And I can change my career at this point in life. Because I always worked in aviation, but I was study aside psychotherapy. So I went to study coaching. And then I started to read even more about cultural shock and identity adaptation processes. And I thought, Oh, this is really, this is really great. And I want to learn more about these. And I want to help people and help foreigners and immigrants, because I think pandemic hit a lot of immigrants because you certainly are not able to go back to your country, you can connect the way you you usually connect, which is during holidays and summer vacations and, and I thought I'm going to support immigrants and I want to be able to inspire as well, people that want to move abroad that they can still do it. So I changed my career in that sense. I'm very happy that I did this move. So you know, one door closes and you work for another door to open.

Daniel De Biasi  54:23  
Basically, in your career as an expert coach, you must have many clients overcoming challenges and problems. So now imagine that you could make appeal like this is like an imaginary right? So imagine you can make like a pill that will solve one challenge or problem for your clients. So what would the pill do?

Marta Castro  54:41  
Yeah, that's that's a very interesting question then. I think there could be a pill that would make us more self aware. You know about what are we doing that is influencing the situations we are in emotional intelligence as well that we are not using AI That would be the deal, it would be self awareness. Peel, that by change everything about your experience abroad, if you know a little bit more about exactly what are you doing, that is not really helping you. So that would be a big change. And that I would prescribe that I think I'm gonna make themself.

Daniel De Biasi  55:25  
Wise, like what self aware can actually cure away actually help you to overcome?

Marta Castro  55:31  
Because it will help you deal with the adaptation part of the living abroad, it will help you navigate as well, cultural shock, because cultural shock is much more than food do I people dress, the way people walk is actually our cultural lenses that we have and that we are not aware of them. I can give you a practical situation. I went to the doctor with my son, and he was running around. And the nurse came to me and he said, Oh, is your son always so ganky ganky, meaning energetic and healthy? I immediately told her, I'm so sorry. I will ask him to go to the Kids Corner to play? And she said, Oh, yes, that would be much better. Thank you. So the exact language that she used to me was, Is your son, always so energetic, but because of the situation I understood, what she means is, can you please stop your son from jumping around? So imagine if I was a foreigner that just been in Japan for a short period of time and have no awareness of of how we speak. If our type of communication is more direct or more indirect, another father or mother could have said, Oh, yes, you have no idea this, my son is also energetic and so difficult for him to come down. And blah, blah, blah. And then it would not change the behavior of the kid because at the end, he was not doing something different not doing anything wrong. And maybe the Japanese nurse to think oh my god, how rude. Like she didn't stop the behavior of the kid. And I told her to stop. But she told me in her way, that is not my way of telling like in first of all, someone will tell you, can you please like, tell your son to stop because it's not correct or something. So the way people speak in Japan is different than in Portugal, they is what we call high context. So you need to read the meaning behind the words, you need to be able to read the atmosphere to understand what is really going on. Many times when people don't understand or you feel, or this person was rude or I'm being discriminated, it actually comes from a cultural shock point of view that you are not aware that is happening. And you cannot talk about these because these are unconscious processes, I started to study more about cross cultural communication and cultural shock exactly because of these deep things that are happening. So imagine if you know Japanese very well, yes, you have a lot of language skills, and you speak perfectly Japanese, and you come in Japan and you might not fully understand steel, what just happened, you know why this person is treating me like this, because they have all these backgrounds of cultural that you don't learn in school. And he's difficult to express because they don't even know because they grow up here. And they learn that is how it works. I think a self awareness feel as I mentioned is learning about the course where you're from that we don't are not aware of it and seeing how we are interpreting the situation that actually might not be exactly as we think it is. And that would be very very helpful

Daniel De Biasi  59:02  
okay because my way or interpretation of self awareness in the circumstances to be an American is different. I want to hear your opinion because for me like self awareness could be i don't know i i go to the supermarket for example. And I think I spoke to in another episode the power going to the supermarket and feel frustrated by the fact that the supermarket outside of Italy are different the way the aisles are different where you put the products are different the kind of products are different. So there's a frustration I remember being like a frustrated and and kind of been in a way judgmental, I guess in your culture just because they weren't doing things differently. So for me, that will be self awareness being like, Daniel, you're being judgmental towards this culture without real reason. There's something big for me and that will be self awareness will be more like why I'm acting this way.

Marta Castro  59:53  
For sure. Yeah, exactly. It's having the emotional intelligence to think about Why why I'm so frustrated with the situation, you're frustrated, because this is completely different from your usual things. And it used to be so easy to do to shop and suddenly is not is a challenge. So, of course, the noises, of course, it gets tired. And software, this is exactly that is, you used to do things this way. And of course, you get annoyed and frustrated. And this is part of the process of adaptation. And a lot of people give up in this phase of annoyance and frustration, and they don't understand that is really part of the process. And you just have to go through it, you know, just go through it. And you will understand that it's part of your adaptation process and it will go away, of course, might not go away always. But you will understand that is because you are you are used to things working in this way. And they no longer make sense. And suddenly you have to grow skills and grow competencies that you don't have to and just have to deal with these things that are so, so simple, which is shopping, and comes up being so stressful. And sufferance is exactly that as well. Danielle is to understand that there's nothing wrong, is cultural shock going on. And you just have to be aware that this will go away when everybody passes through it. And it could be helpful to reframe the situation and to understand that there's nothing wrong with you.

Daniel De Biasi  1:01:30  
Absolutely. And Martha now that you lived abroad for quite a few years you lived in Spain, you lived in London, UK, you live now in Japan, and all the challenges you went through you have any regrets about leaving your country?

Marta Castro  1:01:45  
Oh, no, for one second, not for one second, not at all.

Daniel De Biasi  1:01:49  
And what's the biggest upside about immigrating about having left your country and living abroad.

Marta Castro  1:01:56  
So the best thing about immigrating is exactly to find differences from your culture. So the things that take for granted in your country are not granted in another country. And things were completely different. Despite being frustrating and annoying. Sometimes, when you immigrate, you actually start valuing that difference, and you grow with that business of the new culture. So I think that is the best thing is to be able to grow yourself personally, professionally as well, in a different culture, definitely having this richness.

Daniel De Biasi  1:02:32  
And like for the listener that wants to move to Japan, what are the what are the top three reasons to move to Japan, you would like to give to the listeners,

Marta Castro  1:02:41  
I think the three best reasons to move to Japan would be safety. So it's a very safe country. So just to give you an idea, I go running at night without feeling threatened without thinking about, like, I will be at risk or something like zero, I have no concerns at all. People book their tables at a restaurant with a mobile phone on the table. This cannot happen in Europe, you just lose your mobile phone after three seconds. So the safety of the country is really amazing. That's one reason. Another reason it will be the culture. Japanese has this incredible culture that so much to learn the whole history. Everything is so rich. If you are passionate about Japan, you should definitely come here. But even if you're not in love with Japanese culture, I think you will fall in love once you're here. And another thing is the beauty of the country is just so beautiful. And you can travel a lot and it has amazing islands amazing mountains, you can hike, you can do snorkeling you can ski so I think this is the three main reasons to live in Japan.

Daniel De Biasi  1:03:55  
Oh absolutely. I will had even food with I think the culture around Japan. I mean coming to coming to Europe, we are very similar but for me living in I've been living in New Zealand. I mean you in London, there's not the same kind of culture then you move to Japan. Everywhere you go. I think it's very similar to Italy The everywhere you go. It's about food. There's so much culture around food.

Marta Castro  1:04:16  
Oh, that Oh, Daniel, I have no idea. Like if I told my colleagues like I had this weekend we went here and just like one hour by train somewhere. The first question my Japanese colleagues would ask me is did you try this special call for special soba was special noodles was special dessert. Like there's only always something special about food in that place. And that's very fun. Yes, I

Daniel De Biasi  1:04:44  
remember when I went to Japan I found this very similar thing the very similar to Spanish similar culture around food that as Italy.

Marta Castro  1:04:52  
Yes, yes. You're absolutely right. It's all about food. Like, everywhere you go is always okay you need to try this, even if it's just noodles that you have noodles here in Tokyo as well, but for some reason, there is much better.

Daniel De Biasi  1:05:07  
Oh, yeah, I can totally relate. Everywhere we go they're all different souls different kinds of pasta. Let's talk about food. Otherwise I'll start getting angry here. But you mentioned even the beauty I remember watching these like a TV show on amazon prime with James may feel James May around Japan or something like that. So he'd like to travel from the north of Japan to south and a difference of landscape is different which I wasn't expecting of Japan like a nice sandy almost tropical beaches. Yes. You're like a very remote areas with like snow. And it's such a beautiful, gorgeous country.

Marta Castro  1:05:50  
Yes, it is. It is. Absolutely.

Daniel De Biasi  1:05:52  
One of the thing that I've discussed on the podcast before about Japan, is the problem that you can't be a Japanese citizen. So you kind of need to be prepared that at some point life, you have to leave the Japan you can't, you can never be a Japanese citizen. So how are you guys are navigating through this thing that you know is coming?

Marta Castro  1:06:15  
Yeah, so that's a good point is that you, even if you're very happy in Japan, and you feel integrated, and you have friends and a job is you're sort of not fully into society, you cannot vote, you will not have a passport. So I think this is something that we have in mind specially with with a kid because we know that even if he goes to Japanese kindergarten, or Japanese preschool and elementary school, he will be so different from other kids. And there's nothing wrong about being different. But we know that I don't think we'll be ever fully integrated. So this is something that we have in mind. And at the same time, our plan was never to be here forever. So we intend to come back to Iraq, maybe in the next few years. And so it's not something that would bother us. But it's definitely something that that we know, this is it, that's how it works. You have to accept it,

Daniel De Biasi  1:07:18  
which can be like a kind of challenging situation to be in because you you live your life, you're building a life in another country, you build, like friendship and no connection and all other things. And it's kind of sad that you know that that's gonna be gonna be over at some point.

Marta Castro  1:07:35  
It is it is a little bit sad to think that we cannot live here permanently. But I think our idea was never to settle here permanently. And we have grandparents as well, especially now with Coronavirus, missing as very much and, and having to see our son growing up. But with Google Photos, you know, when in over Skype, I think there's a negative side because you know, we have to move abroad, but at the same time, we might have the opportunity to move closer to family and friends. So yes, I think this the good end of area, will this come together?

Daniel De Biasi  1:08:16  
Yeah, there's some, like some sort of silver lining back to Europe. Do you have any other particular advice you'd like to give to the listeners that want to either move to Japan or moving abroad?

Marta Castro  1:08:27  
Oh, yes. From Yeah, well, I would discussion. I mean, if moving abroad is something that you want to do it, you know, you have to do it, you need to follow your heart, you need to go with your gut. And don't let life pass you by like if this is something that you really want to do. So that people like me that help people make that step. And as well, if you are abroad, and you know, all the stresses that every family has a family of personal or at work, the problems have huge impact when we are abroad. Exactly. Because we usually don't have the support system. So if you're going through something, you ask for help, like don't exaggerate, to ask for help to, to call someone just to talk about to a professional I mean, to talk about your problems, what what the thoughts you you're having anyone to express yourself and you want to see, is this normal? I'm thinking about going back, but I don't really want to go back to my country, what's going on here and all these cultural challenges that you may be facing abroad. Identity challenges, is just asked for help. Like don't hesitate to ask for help because it can make a huge difference between having a positive experience and continue with your immigration or having a dramatic experience abroad and giving up when you should not give up if this is something that you really want to do. So yeah, asking for help. Definitely. Which

Daniel De Biasi  1:09:53  
I can speak from personal experience asking for help. It's really hard some time so it's not easy things to do for money. For many people, it's not for me.

Marta Castro  1:10:01  
Yeah, no, definitely. Yeah, definitely. Asking for help is like, admitting that I have a problem. Well, yeah, we all have struggles. Let's solve them together. And actually, which was one of the things that I that I have done when I call the nurse and I said, Okay, I'm going crazy here. This is normal when I had my son. And she said, I'm so glad you called Martha. This is I'm so happy that he called. And I felt Oh, wow, this is really normal. And I did something different from other mothers that was asking for help. And yeah, it was really great.

Daniel De Biasi  1:10:35  
I think this is a good point that we can wrap this up. If the listener wants to reach out to you, maybe they relate with your story, or maybe they want to work with you as a coach where people can find you.

Marta Castro  1:10:46  
So yeah, I have a lot of content about immigration and coastal swag on IG, Marta, Castro, expert coaching and FM as well my website, Martha Castro, ex Or just email me or martyr at Marta Castro Yeah,

Daniel De Biasi  1:11:05  
I'm here, perfect. And as usual, all the links and everything will be in the show notes for people so they can reach out to you more easily. So thank you so much, Martha, for sharing your story and your experience on our podcast. Really, really appreciate it.

Marta Castro  1:11:18  
Thank you. Thank you so much for inviting me. Thank you. Oh, Horace.

Daniel De Biasi  1:11:21  
Bye bye. Bye. Thank you. Thank you so much for tuning in this week and stick until the end. If you enjoyed this episode and find it useful. Please share it with someone you know who can benefit from it. And if you want to support the show and the world with you, you can leave us a review on Apple podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcast. We are on social media. You can find us on Instagram, Twitter and Tiktok, Amiens life and Facebook Amy currents life podcast. Thanks again for listening. Talk to you in the next one Cheerio.