Overcoming the fear of moving abroad with the right positive mindset

Zara 0:01

If there is a little fear, it means that there is a fear there for a reason, it means that there is something in you, that's telling you that you can't do it. So if you go against that, and you can actually do it, the reward that you get at the end of it is absolutely amazing because you're like, proving yourself that you can do it.

Daniel De Biasi 0:27

Hi, everyone, and welcome to episode number 49 of the Emigrant's Life Podcast, where we share stories of people who left the country to chase a better life and family stories you can find ideas, resources and motivation to do the same. I'm Daniel De Biasi, and my guest this week is Zara, who is originally from Romania, but moved to Ukraine when she was only one. Right after she finished university Zara decided to leave Ukraine and try something different. This meant going to study in Canada, where she then started successful career in marketing. But despite her career going really well. She wasn't feeling fulfilled. That's why she decided to pursue coaching and launch the Great Move platform to help women who live abroad, overcome obstacles and achieve their goals. This episode started as usual with Zara story on how she moved to Canada. But then we touched a topic that both of us seems to be very passionate about helping others overcome challenges. As Zara and I share some useful tips, resources and exercises to help you build a better mindset and get you ready for the great move. Before moving on to my commercials with Zara. If you like what we do, please consider leaving a review on Apple podcasts or pod chaser, it really makes a big difference with the algorithm, so this podcast can be discovered by others. It motivates us to keep doing our best to help you and others move into a new country. Now, without further ado, please enjoy my conversation with Zara.

Hi Zara. Thanks for being on the show.

Zara 1:52

Thanks for having me.

Daniel De Biasi 1:53

It's my pleasure. So Zara, do you want to start maybe saying to the listener, where are you originally from?

Zara 1:58

Yeah, sure. So I'm originally from Armenia, but I grew up in Ukraine. And then about eight years ago, I moved to Canada. So here I am now.

Daniel De Biasi 2:09

And for the listeners that like me, they're not very good with geography. Can you explain where Armenia is? I have to check on the map by that. I can't lie.

Zara 2:19

Oh, God, Oh, God. So our media is part of the Middle East, if you think about it that way. And then Ukraine is a part of Eastern Europe. So I grew up in Ukraine, meaning I absorbed a lot of Eastern European culture. But because my parents are Armenians, we preserved a lot of Armenian culture as well. So it's a combination of both. And now that I moved to North America, I've got a third culture in it's a really mix of three. That are, they're working together quite well.

Daniel De Biasi 2:49

Because the other day when we spoke, you told me that you move from Armenia to Ukraine when you were pretty young, I think it was like one or two?

Zara 2:56

Yeah, I was one year old. I can't even say if I moved on. My parents moved me at that point. Probably. Probably the second one.

Daniel De Biasi 3:04

Yeah

Zara 3:05

Yeah, I think it was a good thing could that my parents have done for me to move me to another country, and I've lived in an immigrant family. So I know, the challenges that they've gone through, and all the good and all the bad that comes within moving to another country. So when I had to make my decision to move, I already was sort of prepared for it from a mindset perspective, like I knew what to expect.

Daniel De Biasi 3:31

Okay, I want to go back to that later. But I kind of like intrigued by it because you told me that even though you moved to Ukraine when you were like a pretty young, you probably don't even remember Armenia but you feel like Armenia is still your mother country. Why is that?

Zara 3:45

It's certainly my motherland. Because my parents have done a great job at preserving the traditions and making sure that I grow up, go into Armenia as many times as I can. So I would spend my summers in there, and I would spend a lot of time with Armenian friends that will get from Armenia or in Ukraine. I think it goes back to how I feel in the certain environment. When I'm in Armenian environment, I feel more alive. I feel like that's me. I feel like it speaks to my core versus in Ukraine. It feels like something that I acquired over the years that I lived there. So the feeling is not as strong as I am in Armenia culture.

Daniel De Biasi 4:31

That's interesting, and why your parents moved from Armenia to to Ukraine, if I can ask?

Zara 4:37

They were looking for a better life. I guess at that point, Armenia was going through a lot of difficulties, politically, economically, so it was a difficult time for the country and because my parents already had two children, me and my brother. It was just the right decision from you know, perspective of where do we move. So then our parents and our kids have better opportunities. So it was it was more of a practical choice rather than emotionally driven choice.

Daniel De Biasi 5:10

Because even Ukraine at that time, it was just like a going through, after the Soviet Union will even recreate wasn't like a, I don't know, in that much better situation.

Zara 5:20

In comparison to Armenia they were still better.

Daniel De Biasi 5:23

Okay

Zara 5:24

So I guess they my parents had to choose between two evils. And Ukraine just happened to be also the country who was open for immigrants at that point. And they were accepting people from all over the Soviet Union, post Soviet Union at that time. So it was a good choice, I think, for my parents just to make that move. And there was also no language barrier, right for them. Because it was all Russian, it was easier transitioning.

Daniel De Biasi 5:52

Okay, makes sense. And back to your story of how you left Ukraine to move to Canada, what age did you decide to leave Ukraine?

Zara 6:00

I moved from Ukraine when I was 21. So quite young, right after I graduated from university, and I had thoughts about moving to somewhere else. When I was, I would say, 16, 17. And then it just took me some time to figure out what country do I want to move to? What do I want to do there? And how does the process work? Because I wanted to go to study. So I had to do a bit of research in the universities on the quality of life, on possibilities of maybe moving to another country after. So it's been a lot of research for me. And yeah, at the age of 21, I was ready to go.

Daniel De Biasi 6:42

And was that part of because it didn't really feel like Ukraine was your home. So we could go anywhere and try to find another place that you can call on was part of the reason you would just like try something different?

Zara 6:52

I would say it was part of the reason. But there was a bigger reason for me to move when I was 19 actually, I went to London, UK to study English. And that was the first time in my life where I was exposed to so many different cultures at once. Right? We had an English school, so people from all over the world would come to learn English in London. And I loved that environment. Like I found myself thriving in that environment. I loved talking to people learning about new cultures, learning what they eat, how they speak, their traditions, and I almost became like addicted to this cultural mix that I absolutely adored. So when I came back to Ukraine, I was also lucky in Ukraine, I was studying for Bachelor's in linguistics. So it was learning languages from a more scientific perspective. And when you learn languages, it's really important to understand the culture behind the language. So you understand why certain things sound that way, or why certain phrases go in a certain way. So in Ukraine, I was trying to find that multicultural hub for myself, which was my university, and it was big part of my life. But I wanted to make it my life like I wanted to live in a world where everyone is different while we've got all different cultures, and then I can learn and develop every day. And there's something new every day, hence, I started looking at US, Canada, Australia, bit of a more multicultural countries, and just Canada happened to be a good choice from the universities. I like the universities, I liked the quality of life that it's in here. And I like the people, though they're very nice people here in Canada, it's not a myth. They're actually Canadians are very nice people.

Daniel De Biasi 8:44

Yes. But the question that comes out like automatically is why you didn't pick London? Why you didn't pick England? If you love it so much waiting to go there.

Zara 8:54

London was a good adventure, and I wanted to keep it a good adventure. You know, it's like that one romantic getaway that I had. And I wanted to keep that memory of it, and then go explore something further.

Daniel De Biasi 9:09

It's funny because the second person that I interview Jadranka come before you and she said the same. She had like at the tipping point when she decided to leave her country to leave Bosnia to was like when she went to London. She saw like, the life that she loves so much London, England, that she decided like, Okay, I need to get out from this country and, and she also fell in love with London or England and then decided to move to Toronto to Canada. I was like at the same pattern here, You went to London and figured out that I love this. Okay, I go to Canada. That's that's quite interesting.

Zara 9:43

It's funny. London is like a trampoline to Toronto almost.

Daniel De Biasi 9:47

Yeah, exactly.

Zara 9:48

It's funny. You're like you bounce on it a little bit and then go to another country.

Daniel De Biasi 9:51

Yeah, go a liitle further. Okay, and was it easy for you- so I guess it was like, not too hard for you to leave your family, you leave your country to move across the ocean?

Zara 10:04

it was definitely hard for me to leave my family. I'm very connected to them. So my immediate family, it was a tough choice to leave. But I knew that I was leaving for better opportunities for a better life. And in future, I would like them to come and join me at some point, which is definitely going to happen. So the challenges were more about myself and my attitude when I moved to New country and making sure that that attitude is right. And it's a positive attitude. And that's what really kept me going in a different country during the hard times. I'm a big believer that if you have a positive attitude, and you have a problem, when you mash those two together, it leads you to creativity, to solutions, to opportunities, versus having negative attitudes. When you think about the little things and you think about little details that are going wrong and focusing on those. And when the big problem comes in, even if it's a small problem, it just becomes this huge burden on you, right? And that's where all the stress comes in, all the worries comes in, all you need to do is simply change the way you look at things, and it shifts the perspective immediately.

Daniel De Biasi 11:18

And speaking of challenges, what kind of challenges that was the big challenges do you have to face when you move to Canada?

Zara 11:23

It's interesting that my language, I didn't have a language barrier, but I still had a barrier of you know, our sound different, like I sounded way different back then. So my accent, and at some point, I had this thought that people just won't understand me, no matter what I do. So the challenges were in school, in a lot of cases, when we had to present, I went to school for marketing, and you present a lot in marketing. So when I had to put together a presentation, be in front of the whole class and put myself out there, that's where the doubts would creep in, and that's where the challenges would come in. Because my confidence and just the way I sound, the way I see things, it was very small, it was very low. So definitely something I had to work in. And then the second challenge would be uncertainty, right? Sometimes, you simply don't know where you're going to live next month, when you're in a different country. I had some uncertainties, I moved from one apartment to another quite a lot. And sometimes not knowing where I'm going to be tomorrow and what area, that uncertainty was definitely something that I had to again, learn to live with. And know that even though tomorrow is not as certain as it could be back home, there is enough skills and enough strength in me to figure it out eventually.

Daniel De Biasi 12:49

And was there anything that was helping you to keep going or just a motivation to do I want to do this, and that was enough for you?

Zara 12:55

It was me connecting to my reason why it moved. Right. So it was more about I moved for a certain reason I moved because I had very strong calling to move to a country that has multiple cultures, and develop and learn and grow there. So I had to sort of remind myself of that, why. And that what kept me going was my Northern Star. And in the difficult times when things are not working out you I was tapping into those emotions that I had when I first moved to a new country. You know that that that excitement that like fascination with everything around you, you're sort of- you're like a tour is the first couple of months, right?

Daniel De Biasi 13:40

Yeah.

Zara 13:41

And then it hits you then if the problems and the challenges hit you. And that's when it's important to remind yourself that you were at that spot once when you wanted this so badly. When you put yourself outside of your comfort zone, when you came to this country and you had this excitement in yourself. So it's about going back to those times and to really live in those emotions that are going to keep you going in the hard times.

Daniel De Biasi 14:08

Yeah, I think one of the things one of the trick I used to use or just to remind myself what I was doing was just reminding myself where I was sometime you fall into the normal routine and you don't really see the difference between your past life to the normal life. Your new life becomes just a life you don't really see the difference. And sometimes, I had to remind myself we were in Canada, but mostly when I was in New Zealand because it was the beginning of my journey. I'd like to remind myself Oh, I'm in New Zealand. I'm in this island out of nowhere on the other side of the world and I'm actually here and just to remind myself like this is pretty special and for me it was just enough to be happy and to be like a satisfied for what I did because I was there I wasn't in Italy anymore. I was on the other side of the world and this beautiful island that was that for me it was a good reminder.

Zara 14:54

Yeah, absolutely being present in the moment is that is a very important thing. Just to Remind yourself that I'm here. And I'm here for a reason. It does wonders for you.

Daniel De Biasi 15:05

Yeah. And I guess do you have any regrets about leaving your country?

Zara 15:09

No, I wouldn't say I have any regrets. I generally don't want to think about regrets. And I don't want to think of something that if it didn't work out, I don't want to think of it as a regret. I want to think of it as a learning opportunity for myself. So if there was something that I could learn from this move, it's that, really the the challenges come your way. And it's really up to you, the way that you handle those challenges. And depending on the way you handle those challenges. It can be, or perfect and work out perfectly, or it can be even harder than it was at the beginning.

Daniel De Biasi 15:46

And going back to your move to Canada, how technically how did you do it? How did you manage to move to Canada?

Zara 15:54

Yeah, so I came here as a student, and I started at the college, I had a two year college post graduation certificate program that I've gone through. And after that, within Canada, when you study for two years, and then you have at least a year of work experience in the industry that you've studied for, then you can apply for Express Entry, or the immigration process that goes through another year. So really took me two years to get my education. And then it's one year of work experience. And then another year of going through all the paperwork. So within four, four and a half years, I was able to immigrate through education and work.

Daniel De Biasi 16:39

So it wasn't like the process wasn't really too complicated. It was pretty straightforward.

Zara 16:43

It is. I would say it's pretty straightforward. All the information is on the websites. And it's really just about filling out the forms. It's really about doing the paperwork. The the process itself is pretty straightforward,

Daniel De Biasi 16:57

Because that's what I usually hear that like going through moving abroad more into a new country, especially Canada as a student, even though it's much more expensive. But it's definitely it's easier, because as you said, you get a qualification or you get a diploma or a qualification in Canada, you gain Canadian experience. And that's usually when you get like a work permit and you graduate, they will automatically give you a work permit. Is that right?

Zara 17:21

Yes, you get a work permit for at least two years, I think.

Daniel De Biasi 17:24

I don't know, if you're comfortable talking about about our expensive was to study in Canada?

Zara 17:29

I would say in comparison to us, for example, it's much more affordable option. So you can probably get away with for two years, I would say around 20,000, you can probably get away with that. If you're studying in the college, right? If you're going to the university and getting a masters or getting a bachelor's, that's obviously a different story. And it's much more expensive thing to do. But colleges are affordable, and they do give you good knowledge and they give you good skills to start working right away. So it's not just the theoretical part of it, it's a lot of it is practical skills that you take. And you can apply to your work right away. So perhaps you're real good for the work?

Daniel De Biasi 18:13

And where you're allowed to work while you were studying?

Zara 18:15

Yes, you can do part time jobs. And I did actually when I studied, I highly recommend it to anyone, because it starts building your resume. Right? So obviously, I came to Canada with a pretty blank resume and even having one line in there, even if it's a part time job, as long as it has Canadian experience to it. It will be more welcomed when you're going into and finding a full time job.

Daniel De Biasi 18:40

Yeah, that's perfect. And now you recently started being a coach and trying to help other immigrants. Do you want to maybe tell the listeners, what do you do?

Zara 18:48

So I've became first I started as a life coach. And then I realized that I have all this great knowledge and the coaching and all these great tools that I could have used when I moved to Canada and when I was an immigrant. And I realized that all those things could have helped me back then to make better decisions to be in a better headspace and to achieve much more than I did. Because of that I wanted to share that knowledge with immigrants and experts and people who travel around the world people who have those changes and they go through changes. It's an uncertain times. It's a definitely challenging times when you move to another country. So I made it my life's mission to become that partner for people who move to another country become that support when they needed. When I moved I actually have gone through an interesting process of I sort of discovering myself as I was working through in marketing industry. I started at what I thought back then was my dream job in advertising. And then five years later, I found myself being absolutely on Happy and unfulfilled for the life that I have, even though I had a successful career in marketing, right, I would get promotions every year or so. So was moving along real well, what was not happening for me is that fulfillment from the work that I do. And the reason why I got into marketing is because I came to another country. And that just seemed like the good option from everything that was offered in the colleges. So I got into it without truly understanding what I really want, what I'm truly destined to do, what my purpose was, what I really, really want to do. And because of that, even though I was progressing in career, even though I had those promotions coming in, I never felt like my life was well rounded. And it was absolutely happy to the point that I got into a very bad headspace where I needed to get out of the corporate world, and take a journey of soul searching. And that's what led me to coaching when I started discovering myself again, started to learn what brings me joy, what sparks that interest and opportunities in my life for me, and it came into coaching. And I always thought that, you know, there might be somewhere out there, an immigrant like me who just got into routine, and sort of lost her true self in in it. Because when we moved to another country, we're in a survival mode, we we got to go go, we're gonna do doo doo. And we don't pause sometimes to think about what is the right thing for us to do. So I help immigrants now to take that pause to really raise that self awareness about who you are as a person, what your purpose is. And I empower them with the tools of a confidence of a self love, of understanding your worth. So that when they do know what they want to do, they already have the confidence to go after it. And then go and achieve and set the goals and achieve anything that they want to do. It's a full on process from discovering who you are, to getting the confidence to get to where you want. And also get an absolutely clear on what is that that you want.

Daniel De Biasi 22:17

What do you think is the most common question or most challenging thing that usually people come to you for?

Zara 22:22

A lot of challenging things are around uncertainty, I would say, I find that people focus on the things that they don't want in their life. They focus on, you know, the apartment they don't want to live in, they focus on the job they don't want to live in, they focus on that all things that are holding them back from living the life that they want. The question that they're not asking themselves is like, Okay, then what do I want then? So the opposite the flip side of the coin. And because there's so much stuck in there, what they don't want your life and your energy flows into that aspect of what you don't want. So it amplifies even further and further. When we work together, we shift that thinking from what you don't want focus on what you want, focus on the goals, focus on what excites you. And it gives them the new meaning to their life, it opens up the opportunities or opens up the new ways of thinking about the life. And that's when the creativity starts flowing in. And that's when they unleash that potential that they had inside of them all this time. But it was sort of blocked because of all the negative self talk and all the I don't want this I don't want this. Okay, well, what do you want to really?

Daniel De Biasi 23:39

I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but is that maybe because people are they're leaving their country because that's not the life they want to live. So they start from the point where I know what I don't want and move to a new country, or you feel like you got a problem with self confidence because you maybe don't speak the language, the culture is different, so you don't feel good enough. You don't feel like a fitting in. In my case, I felt like I was stupid, because I couldn't speak the language. So I felt stupid. So it started already from a point where you know what you don't want. You know that you're not good enough. Or at least you feel like you're not good enough. You feel like stupid. So how do you overcome all of that?

Zara 24:17

So feeling not good enough and feeling sometimes stupid and awkward in some situations, right? Because I had the same thoughts and feelings when I moved. The best thing to do is to reframe the situation that you're in. So if you're feeling a bit stupid or awkward, because you're not speaking the language the way that everyone else does, well, maybe you can see it not as a bad thing as something that you don't have that maybe you can think of it as a something that's unique about you. And that makes you stand out of the crowd. Right? That makes you different from everyone else in a good way.

Daniel De Biasi 24:59

Yeah.

Zara 24:59

And then you Changing your perspective. So you're not looking at it from the negative you're looking at it from. Okay, well, what is good about this? What is the positive thing that I can learn about this? I have an exercise that I do every day. By the end of the day, I sit down and I write down what is the one good thing about myself today that I've learned? And then what is the one good thing that happened to me today? And what it does is sort of it forces your brain to think positively about your life, about yourself. And the more we do that, the more confidence we build in ourselves. And then once you have their confidence, you're not being good enough, starts fading away slowly. Because you know that now you're not just a good part of something, you are unique part of something. And that's where your power is.

Daniel De Biasi 25:53

Have you ever heard of the Five Minute Journal?

Zara 25:55

Yeah, absolutely.

Daniel De Biasi 25:56

Okay, because I started using it like a while ago, and not long ago, I think from through over the pandemic over the lockdown, I was talking with my mom. And I felt like she was like a really negative, everything was like, Oh, my God, we have lockdown in tears. And they're like, Mom, you still you focus too much on the negativity. And I recommend I'd like to do this exercise because there's, there's not the equivalent in Italian. So I told like this exercise like write in the morning, three things that you're grateful for, at the end of the day, something nice that happened that day and why you're happy, something that you did good and that day. And after a while, I can definitely saw the shift into like the mentality and she was not as negative as before it just because as you said, like you train your brain to focus on the positive things instead of the negative ones. So for that, for the listener, I'd recommend Five Minute Journal, or just different exercises, as you said, you'd write down in the morning, a few things that you're grateful for. And at the end of the day, one nice thing that happened that day, that was actually pretty nice.

Zara 26:56

Yeah. And I take it a step further in the days when I, if I have a person who I'm frustrated with, or if I have the situation that I'm really frustrated about. Mostly it is about the person, I also write down five good things about that person that I can think of. So anything that changes again, the way that I think about that person, and the next morning, you wake up, and that person who seemed like a very, very annoying person, the other day suddenly becomes someone who you can talk to, and who you could have more meaningful conversation now and more productive conversation out. So apply it to your life situations, apply it to people who you talk to apply it to even small things like even if it's about food, that there is something that you don't like about food, write down, what do you don't like about it? Sure, if you need that sort of area where you're just pouring your thoughts, write that down, but also flip it on its head. And well, okay, what was the good thing about this? Right? So it can be can be about anything really in the world.

Daniel De Biasi 28:05

That sounds way more difficult exercise like writing, five good things about about one person who's really frustrating you. That sounds like a really, really hard process to go through.

Zara 28:17

You find those things, though, it might take you a while, but you will find it good.

Daniel De Biasi 28:22

Oh, I'll give it a try. I'll let you know there's some people I don't know if I can find. How many do you need five or one is enough?

Zara 28:32

I would say at least three.

Daniel De Biasi 28:34

Okay.

Zara 28:35

Yeah.

Daniel De Biasi 28:35

Okay. I'll give that a try. I don't know how well I can go. one question I'd like to ask you. Otherwise, if you were in your coaching career, do you find like a pattern? What's the main thing that usually stops people from pulling the plug in leaving their country?

Zara 28:51

Fear is the first thing that comes to my mind, and fear about fear of failure is the biggest one that shows up in a lot of cases, fear of not being accepted of being again, different in a bad way. When we talk about fear of being judged by other people. So it all really comes down to what if I move to another country, and I don't succeed. And then on top of that, people are also going to judge me for my accent for the way I look for the way I speak. So there are all those limiting beliefs that we have in our head that are holding us back. Because truly, we don't know if we move to another country. We don't know if people are going to judge us or not. Like that might not even happen. But because we created the story in our head, and we think that that's going to happen, it makes that fear even bigger and bigger. So what do you do if you do push yourself to move into another country eventually, you carry that fear with you. And now you're here and because you're still closed up, you can't find friends you can find a partner in life. You You're not doing as good at school if you were a bit more open about it. So I think it's definitely fear of not being accepted, fear of failure and fear of being judged by someone. And all those things come down to really one strong belief of I am enough. And I've always been enough, I've been enough in my country, I've been enough and in a different environments, which means I will be enough when I move to another country, even if I am different. And I will always be enough continuing from there. And that's actually a good mantra to almost put on your wall, or I know that people sometimes write down on their mirror, because that's where you look at yourself every day. So you'll you'll see it, whether you want it or not. And that small reminder that I am enough, I've always been enough. And I will always be enough, no matter what happens around me. It gives you that sense of- it grounds you, it gives you understanding that your core values and who you are as a person, it won't change. It gives you more confidence yourself again.

Daniel De Biasi 31:10

I like to correct you a little bit because I don't think we are enough, I think we're more than enough. Because we are taking the risk that the majority is not taking just for you deciding to leave your life behind your family and friends and go into something better for yourself, and, or even maybe for your family. So taking that risk, you're already way better than the majority of people. So for me like thinking that you're not good enough, you're absolutely more than good enough, you're better than most people just just because you decided to take that risk for yourself or for your family thing. And this is just a I know, there's some beliefs, like I said, like I felt like a stupid by them. I felt like I wasn't enough. Because I felt like I'm doing this. The majority is too afraid to do it. And I'm doing it. You need a reminder, like we're talking earlier, you need to remind well, but I don't know, I want to say that we're more than good enough.

Zara 32:00

Yeah, absolutely. Take it to the next level, you're more than enough.

Daniel De Biasi 32:04

Absolute. Yeah, we are special. I think I heard somewhere that there's only 4% of the population. I think we're like immigrants they're like just the 4% of the population. I don't know if that number correctly. But if it's I like to believe this correct. So we are part of the 4%, which is pretty good.

Zara 32:23

That's amazing. We're part of a 4% of strong people who have who were brave enough to make a change in their life a huge change. I like to think of immigrants and about myself as a tree. Right? So if we think about the tree, it really becomes stronger with a wind. And wind actually helps the tree to grow. And to get the root system deeper, and to get stronger and bigger. So as immigrants were those trees that have a ton of wind around them, and we just have a lot of wind going on around us. And it only makes us stronger, it only makes us grow faster and be bigger and taller. Whether you know, if you stay in your country, you'll still get some wins, you'll still get strong enough. But it won't be the same type of hurricane that we go through. And that hurricane makes us 100% stronger and builds the skills that you never even thought about building when you were back home. Right? It opens the horizon.

Daniel De Biasi 33:23

But even part of yourself that you didn't know you have and just personality wise, I think I changed a lot since I got here in Canada. And even since I left Italy, it changed so much is because you go through different experiences. And it just opens up a new opportunity that you didn't even know they existed. Like for me like I even do this podcast, I would even imagine it was like in another country. In that situation. I would even decide to launch this podcast and do what I'm doing. So there's like so many quotes, like you say you use the example of the tree. But there's another quote like the most famous one and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Right? And there's another one that I really like is, "A smooth sea never made a good sailor." There are so many ways you think about in every situation if you don't overcome the challenges, you don't have any change in your life. You're you're not growing.

Zara 34:10

Yeah, absolutely. The question that I encourage people to ask themselves when they're sort of on the doubt if they should move when they have all those fears creeping up. I asked them, Well, what do you lose if you don't move? What do you given up in your life, if you don't make this change now? And the list, it goes into a very long list of things, of course, I'm gonna lose my freedom, I'm going to lose my independence, I'm going to lose all those great things that I could achieve outside of my country. It gives them the courage to take that step. It also shows them all the beautiful things that are happening on the other side of the world, and all that they can achieve that they're not achieving today, being at home, being in a comfortable situation and holding on to those fears.

Daniel De Biasi 34:55

And do you think it's more powerful focusing on the negative part of your career In life or focusing on the positive things of the new life that you're chasing?

Zara 35:04

I think we're in a state of, I'm scared, and I'm stuck, I think we get into our shell. And in order to crack open that shell, we need to think of a way we're going to lose. Because that creates the leverage that you can then use to build that positive momentum. And then you start focusing on the good. But in order for us to break out of our shell, and understand that if this move doesn't happen today, my life five years from now is going to be exactly the same as it is today. And if I want to change my life today, it means that there's something I'm working on it. Right? So it's a thought provoking question that you can ask yourself, if you are in that negative self talk, when you can't find anything positive around it, then you say, Okay, well, what am I going to lose?

Daniel De Biasi 35:56

I will ask you that question, just because I was curious, because for me, what's the focus on the negative side, and that's what like, fuels me, like fueled me when I left Italy, it was for me was the fear of what I have to lose, or what I was put in their way. I left Italy, not because it was courage, but because I was afraid. And that was my reason why I left now. Because, yes, I was chasing bigger dreams and all of that. But what really fueled me to make the decision was, was the fear pretty much to stay in Italy, then more than chasing a better life. That was the main fuel for me. That's why I was asking that question I was curious about.

Zara 36:31

interesting. Yeah, it definitely whatever fuels you, I would say, you know, and the majority of the cases, I would say that people come from the fear place, right that you like you said, they're running away from what they don't want. And that's the first step that you take. And then once you hear, you got to make that shift, 360, or 180, I guess, to get into a place, then now you're thinking about what I want.

Daniel De Biasi 36:59

Because in some situation, can be something that happened in your life that made you, I don't know, realize that Okay, I need to make a change sometime it's like the most probably the most, like, clear example, which is completely off topic. But even like quit smoking, you're not quit smoking, because oh, I want to have a better health or feel better. I want to have like a go running for longer. Usually, it's like, Oh, I got lung cancer, or the doctor says that if you don't stop, you're gonna be I don't know, you get something really bad. And that's usually what motivates people from quit smoking is not really a one to get fit, there's not enough motivation for you to stop and make the change. Right? So leaving the country can be the same thing. Even for me, I think I got to the point where, okay, I need to change something. And that's for me was fear of, if I don't make changes, this is going to be my life for the rest of my life.

Zara 37:51

Yeah, exactly. If you don't change your life, then who would? Right?

Daniel De Biasi 37:54

Absolutely. Do you have any more advice? I mean, so many advice for people that wants to move abroad? They're not sure if doing or not, but do you have any more advice for people that maybe wants to move to Canada?

Zara 38:06

I would say for me, things like, positive attitude, positive mindset, like we talked about, and, and also the ability to just be open minded, and the things of, you know, if it's something that you've never tried in your life, if it's something that scares you a bit, when you're in Canada or in a different country, any country, then just go for it. Like, if there is a little fear, it means that there is a fear there for a reason, it means that there is something in you, that's telling you that you can't do it. So if you go against that, and you can actually do it, the reward that you get at the end of it is absolutely amazing. Because you're like proving yourself that you can do it. Right? It can be a small things, it doesn't have to be a big thing. In my case, for example, I never learned how to ride a bike when I was in Ukraine when I was a kid. So I came to Canada, and I had to learn how to ride a bike while I wanted to. But it was very scary for me. And every time I would think about learning it, it would just, it would make me panic. Like I was sweating. It was that scary for me. And I did it anyways, I got a bike like one day, you just take a deep breath, and I count usually from five to zero, I take a deep breath 54321 go and you just do it gets your brain in that position where it doesn't have a choice at that point. Right? I got on the bike, I started riding the bike. And then again, you're looking for the destination where you get in to where you want to get to, as opposed to like in my case, it was a wall right? Like I was when I was training. I was sort of in like between walls. I was writing between the walls. If I'm looking at that wall obviously it amplifies my fear because I'm thinking oh my gosh, I'm going to go crash against that wall now. But if I'm looking at the end of the tunnel at the, the end of that street, it gives me motivation to go there. And I'm just like paddling, paddling, paddling. So I'd say the biggest piece of advice in addition to everything we talked about is, if you feel that there is something there, that you have a calling to do, but there's this like fear or some feeling in your body that pulls you away from it, do it, and you're never gonna regret it. 54321 go.

Daniel De Biasi 40:30

I love that. I love it even the example the bike that is so true, that if pointing to the wall, you're gonna hit the wall, if you're pointing like towards, like at the end, you're going to go to that direction. Exactly where you pointing where you're focusing your, your sights, are you focusing your, your perspective, that's exactly where you're going to go on a bike. It's so true. It's so true.

Zara 40:49

Yeah, in coaching, we say where focus goes, energy flows. So if you focus in on the wall, your energy and all your efforts is going to go towards that wall. And it goes the same in in any area of our life. Right?

Daniel De Biasi 41:04

Absolutely. I love that. And I want to close with one of the quotes that for me, usually asked me when I'm in a situation, as you said, You try it, you want to make a change, you have that fear. And the quote usually go back to is. "Everything you want is outside of your comfort zone." So if you feel like if something scares you, so you have to go outside of your comfort zone. It helps me to believe that everything I want is exactly in that spot. So I can't achieve what I want staying in the same situation. So you have to, when you feel that that kind of fear, it's a good sign, it's a sign that you have to go for it to achieve what you want in life, that there's something that always like I go back to and reminds me when I afraid when I'm scared. I'm like, okay, that means that I have to go on their way because everything I want is exactly outside of my comfort zone.

Zara 41:51

Yeah, absolutely. You use that fear, right? You use that fear to power you to give you that fuel to go ahead and do it. I think of it as also as like a dance with the fear. If we really, we can dance with the fear if we want too, we can make it work for us if we want to. But we can also let it lead us. Or we can just like in a dance, you can lead or you can be led by someone. So if you take your fear and you start leading it towards something, then it leads you to something that you never thought you could you could achieve and it pushes you outside of your comfort zone. Nothing good happens in your comfort zone. So in order for magic to happen, you got to push yourself.

Daniel De Biasi 42:32

Absolutely 100% awesome. Where people can find you, if they want to get in touch with you ask you more questions or get in touch with you in general, where people can find you?

Zara 42:41

They can find me on Instagram. So The Great Move is the community that I'm building. So the.great.move. And we have a great community that we're building, very supportive community. And I post a lot of secrets, tips and tricks on how I've gone through my journey and how to stay in that positive mindset. So if you want to connect, I would be more than happy to do so.

Daniel De Biasi 43:09

Sweet. And everything, as usual will be in the show notes for the people that can find you more easily. So thank you so much Zara for taking the time, share your story and share your knowledge with the listeners. We appreciate it.

Zara 43:20

Yeah, thank you for having me. This was an amazing conversation.

Thank you.

Daniel De Biasi 43:23

Thank you for doing that. Awesome. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for tuning in this week. You can find all the links and resources mentioned in this episode in the show notes by visiting emigrants life.com/episode49. In the show notes you also find instructions on how to receive the template I use for the Five Minute Journal incase you want to try yourself. And if you enjoyed this episode and want to support the show, you can share this episode with your friends. And you can leave us a review on Apple podcasts or pot chaser. If you want to follow us on social media, you can find us on Instagram and Twitter at @emigrantslife and Facebook at Emigrant's Life Podcast. One more thing, if you want to move to a new country, you need help, feel free to reach out to me either via email at daniel@emigrantslife.com or our website, emigrantslife.com. I look forward to meeting you. Thanks again for listening. Talk to you next one. Ciao.

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